Every now and then, this issue rears its teasing little head.
Should a woman change her name when she gets married? And if she does change her name, is she still a feminist?
I’m one of the less than 20 per cent of the female married population who decided not to change my name when I walked down the aisle (well, a gorgeous staircase in a historic house). I didn’t even hyphenate.
And I’m sorry to say to everyone who is thinking there is going to be a rousing argument in the next sentence as to why you should keep your maiden name.
I didn’t change my name to my husband’s because I didn’t think about it.
Mia Freedman, Holly Wainwright and Jessie Stephens discuss Jesinta Franklin adopting her new husband’s name. Post continues below.
I remember a few days before the wedding I turned to my fiance and said, “We haven’t discussed what name I should have yet.”
“What surname should I have?”
How could I have forgotten this? What kind of a bride-to-be was I to leave a name change to the last minute? Shouldn’t I have been writing my first name and his last name down on every bit of scrap paper I could get my hands on? Did this mean I wasn’t a romantic person?
My fiance, in his usual easy going way simply said, “Whatever name you want.”
“Oh look, I think I’ll keep it. It’s my name.”
I know that's not the most thrilling reason. I know there's no deep, committed gender ideology used in my decision making. But when I was 27-years-old and about to be married it was my reason.
It's my name, I think I'll keep it.
I've now been married for 18 years. We have three children together and we both have very different tastes in movies.
I have never felt that I am less committed to my marriage than a woman who changes her last name to that of her partner's. I have also never felt we are less of a family because my children and I don't share the same last name.
Change your name or keep it. The choice is, fabulously, yours now.
I kept my name and it's worked out pretty well. Anything can happen in this marriage business.
Top Comments
"we both have very different tastes in movies"
redundant word - it is pretty difficult for just one of you to have different tastes in movies.
"Now, should I be named after my father, or my husband's father?"