I remember the moment it hit me, like a punch in the gut.
It seems like there’s a new article coming out about marriage every day: signs you’re headed for divorce, why you’re destined to marry the wrong person, how to stay married forever, why you shouldn’t leave your marriage no matter how miserable you are… there’s no end to the marital advice people are eager to dish out.
I know, because most of these articles end up in my inbox – often sent to me by my boyfriend, who, like me, is a veteran of a failed marriage.
Lately, these articles have come with a common theme: don’t get divorced. The ‘wisdom’ seems to be that even though marriage is bound to be miserable a lot, if not all, of the time, leaving won’t help. You’ll just bring your problems to your next relationship and end up in the same doomed boat as before, blaming your partner for your problems and sabotaging your relationship.
Reading these articles always makes me cranky.
For one thing, I hate advice. I don’t like giving it and I don’t like taking it. I’d prefer to learn things the hard way – by trying them myself. I rarely take anyone’s word for anything. For another thing, I know how full of shit most writers are, because I’m one too – you can’t bullshit a bullshitter.
But there’s more to it than that. It inevitably leads me to think about my own marriage and wonder if I should have stayed.
Watch: How Chloe Shorten told her kids about her divorce.
Top Comments
“For one thing, a person changes a lot from age 25 to 35 – but from 42 to 52, not so much”. Yes they do! Someone’s health, vitality and interests can change a lot between the ages of 42 to 52.
Don't disagree with the sentiment of this article. Interesting with the backlash against Karl Stefanovic seemingly following the same advice, he's copped it from all sides, though.
But Cass smiled a lot, that’s the difference.