Dear Brides and Grooms of the world,
Hey! How are you? How’s the wedding planning going? Sorry, I know you’re busy sorting out the 150 mason jar candles complete with a personalised scent for each of your guests, but this will just take a minute.
You know that friend you have? You know the one I’m talking about. The friend you love and adore, but is your ‘separate friend’. You both move in different circles, you have your own friends, but you also love to catch up for coffee, just you two, every few weeks.
I am that friend to Olivia*, and she mine. We met through work and had been friends for a few years when she got engaged. By this time we had both moved on to other jobs but still kept in regular contact, and I was ecstatic when her invitation arrived in the mail. But then I saw it. Staring me in the face. Rose Wilson and … nothing. Zilch. Nada.
There was no plus-one.
Being in my early twenties, Olivia was the first of my friends to get married. I had attended a couple of family weddings when I was younger, but had always been part of the bridal party. This time I was a guest, and I knew absolutely no one.
What’s your biggest wedding regret? Our team reveals theirs below. Post continues after video.
Top Comments
If weddings were really just about the bride and groom everybody would go to Vegas or marry in their backyard. There's a sense of selfishness that couples have that is truly unreal. If you care enough about someone to invite them to your wedding then you should care about whether or not they're comfortable/happy. For someone to travel a significant distance to attend a wedding is a true sign of friendship. If they can do that for you, why does it seem too much to ask that you care about them as well? The real problem is that when it comes to wedding parties we have our priorities all wrong. People would rather spend heaps on decor and bridesmaids dresses than cater to their guests. I think the simplest solution to these predicaments is to re-look our wedding parties in general. They're just too expensive and sometimes we invite more people than really makes sense. This lady's post is totally understandable and anyone who doesn't concur is either married and therefore hasn't been in her shoes or is such an extrovert that they probably thrive on meeting new people. Not everyone is like that.
Sorry, but I'm not paying over $250 per guest (which is the level of service, food and alcohol we want, as is our right on OUR day) at a venue that has 100 people max capacity, to have a stranger at our wedding. We are going to struggle to keep it under 100 people, so there's no way in hell I'm giving a seat to someone I don't know. I would never invite someone who knew no one, I'd likely do what your friend did and put you with someone you'd met before, I'd never leave someone hanging, as a socially anxious person myself. But I had friends at my engagement party who I don't see anymore, and they are in those photos forever. So as if I'm going to have a stranger or someone I wouldn't even think to invite (if your plus one were a distant mutual friend) at the most special and also most expensive day of my life. If you don't want to come on your own, don't come (though I'd probably tell you, oh I've also invited such and such, you'll sit together). I'd be sad if you declined, but your seat (and the seat of your proposed plus one) would be taken by someone we would love to share the day with. Weddings are expensive, and I want to know and love every person present at mine.
Definitely a $5 salad bowl for your gift.