'I was trying on jeans in front of a shop assistant. She asked me a question that left me speechless.'

I'm pretty old-school when it comes to buying clothes.  

I'm more likely to head to a shopping centre or warehouse sale to try clothes on instead of buying them online. 

With online shopping, I end up having to return half the stuff I bought and because I'm super lazy, the concept of packing, printing out the label and hunting down a postbox feels like too much work. 

That was until a few days ago when I went into a department store to buy some jeans. 

Watch: Shop assistants translated. Post continues below.

When it comes to jeans, I'm usually a size 10-12 but I can also sometimes be an 8 and sometimes a 14 (ahhhh, that reliable Australian sizing). Depending on the cut, the brand, my menstrual cycle or what I've eaten that morning, my clothing size is different every single time. 

On this day, I was feeling particularly vulnerable and very frustrated. Every single pair of jeans I tried weren't working. They were either not pulling up over my butt and hips or they were then too baggy around my waist. 

The shop assistant was watching me silently huff at myself in the mirror as I tried pair after pair and then she asked me a question. A question that made go extremely red. 

"Do you have PCOS?" 

I was speechless — it was so specific, so random and so true.

After a beat, I whispered my reply, "Yeah, I do." 

"I can tell," she said back. 

I tried on a few more pairs to show her that what she said didn't affect me (it did), left the changing rooms, went home and ordered two pairs of jeans online instead. 

For the unacquainted, PCOS is polycystic ovarian syndrome and around 10 per cent of women have it. The effects of it differ for everyone, but for me, it impacts my hair growth, my mood, my sleep and... my body shape. 

I carry weight on my stomach which is pretty common for women who have PCOS. I don't know why this comment hurt — she wasn't making fun of me and saying it in a snarky way. In fact, she could've had PCOS herself and was looking for someone to talk to about it. 

But leaving that department store, I hated myself. 

And the more I thought about it, the more I realised I hadn't followed the strict routine I usually go through before letting anyone see me in those situations. 

When I'm trying on clothes, I don't usually do it on my period or after I eat because I'm bloated (and I broke my own rule on this occasion). 

When I go to buy makeup, I have to have a full face on so people know that I know what I'm talking about. 

When I go on a date, I have to look like I'm comfortable but still feminine and "pretty", like I didn't even try (except that I did try — a lot).  

Writing these things that I do sounds like so much work, but before now, they were all buried deep in my subconscious as little harmless tasks I just had to tick off.

Today I wore one of the pair of jeans I bought online. They were a size 14, and like the department store jeans, they went over my hips and butt easily but are too big on my waist so I have to wear them with a belt. However, I've gotten approximately three compliments on them so far so I'll take that as a win. 

It sucks that women's clothing isn't made for women's bodies. It sucks that I feel like I have to "play a part" every time I leave my home, but it's even worse stopping myself from wearing, buying or doing something that makes me feel good. 

After my jeans experience, I realised I have a long way to go in terms of self-acceptance and that society has a long way to go in terms of commenting on women's physical appearances. 

But I am confident that I'm doing my part to make these life experiences feel a little bit easier on my heart and mind.

Oh, and if you also want to be complimented on your jeans, here are the ones I bought.

If you want more culture opinions by Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem.

Feature image: Supplied.