Behind every sexy Instagram snap that ignites a fire within your loins is a broken soul who is screaming internally.
We now live in world where our level of love and commitment in a relationship is measured by the number of “likes” the creatures with opposable thumbs deign to throw our way.
That would explain why it’s not uncommon to spy a photo of a couple with their limbs entwined and their gaping mouths suckling at one another right next to a snap of some poached eggs or a birthday shout-out to your Grandma on Instagram.
However, have you ever stopped to think about who is actually taking these pics? Who is holding the camera and pushing the button down to capture this slew of so-called “candid” snaps that are being birthed into the world faster than a former Bachelor contestant chasing down a papparazo?
Think about all those photos you see online that sweep you into a fever of emotional lust because you feel like somehow the heavens must have opened up and allowed this couple to be caught in the act, an act that just so happens to take place under perfect lighting, of course.
I’m talking Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin pictured tonguing in a pool, Kayley Cuoco and Karl Cook pictured pashing on a couch and Chrissy Teigen and John Legend pictured...also pashing on a couch.
But you know who was is never, ever pictured? The poor friend who got roped into watching their nearest and dearest reenact a poorly filmed nature documentary, but instead of filming a pride of lions doing the deed, it’s your best friend Lily and her new partner Greg with the stubble she met on Tinder.
Top Comments
I can't see any pashing on the couch... two examples of kissing someone on the cheek (or temple?) on the couch... maybe we have different understandings of the term 'pashing'...
First of all, as Rush pointed out, self timers are a thing.
But also, there's only one picture here that I would classify as a "sexy Instagram photo" and that's the Justin Bieber one. The others are not sexy - they're playful. It's still PDA but not the sort of PDA that would make me wish I was somewhere else or pity the third wheel who had to be around while it was going on. Surely if this is such a big trend, you could have found better examples to use?
And the Bieber one is the one I would think is *most* likely to have been done with a timer. So, kind of ruins the third wheel theory!
Not coincidentally, John Mayer posted a joking tweet last week in response to the Bieber PDA shot about how awkward the third wheel must have felt in that hot tub. Article inspiration, much...?