I’m prepared for the backlash against me for saying this – really I am.
I’m prepared to be called a wowser — a funbuster.
But I stand by this next statement with my hand on my heart.
I’m talking to you pregnant types. Those glowing slightly nauseous (usually first timers) browsing the expensive pram catalogues.
What is with this thing so many of you do when you find out the sex of your baby but you don’t tell anyone because it’s a ‘secret’.
Do you seriously think we care?
“We know” you say with a twinkle in your slightly puffy eyes, “But we aren’t telling”. YOU AREN’T TELLING.
This is what I want to reply: WHY NOT?
Because who honestly cares what the sex of your child is except you and your partner. Maybe any siblings your unborn baby has if they’re old enough. Grandparents, sure.
But the rest of us? I’m telling you now. We might smile and act interested. We might prod and poke a little to find out because it’s mildly annoying not to know a secret. But we are just being polite.
We don’t care. Your secret is really only interesting to you.
We will coo politely at your ultrasound pic, and happily talk bassinet-or-cot for a few minutes, sure.
But as for the sex. It’s your baby.
Glad it’s healthy. Glad it’s making you happy.
Boy or girl? Couldn’t give a fig.
Surveys show that just over half of all new parents do find out the sex of their baby. With that figure slightly rising for subsequent children. No surveys have been done as far as I know on those who “keep-it-a-secret.” But it seems to me it’s a lot of you these days.
I hope I haven’t offended many of my friends. I know some of you did find out the sex and keep it a secret from the world and at the time I pretended I cared and played along.
And the truth is I am really happy you are pregnant. I love babies. I love kids and I think you will experience the most amazing soul-grounding love you will ever know in your lives when you become parents.
But I’m honestly just happy about the fact you are having a baby. When it comes to the silly guessing games over the sex, well, you may as well have offered me alcohol-free wine. I’m just not sure of the point of it.
Fortunately, I’ve never been invited to a gender-reveal party because I’ve heard they’re a thing now and I am kind of gob-smacked that people could seriously throw one and expect their friends and family to attend with a gift. Also, who has the time and money for a party to tell all your friends about your unborn baby’s genitals?
If you really want to keep a secret – aim higher – those 11 secret herbs and spices maybe, or the design of the next iPhone. Those are some good secrets. Then we really would be interested.
Did you or anyone you know keep the sex of your child a secret?
Top Comments
First of all, just because you don't care doesn't mean that other people don't. Secondly, total strangers will often ask and then contradict the answer, arguing, "No, look how your carrying! It's going to be a boy for sure." If they don't care, they wouldn't insist on arguing. Third, it's not "polite" for strangers to go up to someone and ask questions just because they're pregnant. You could easily say nothing at all. It's often considered rude because the person might not even be pregnant at all. And people who know the pregnant person often really really want to know, and will continue to pester until they give in, whether the parents know themselves or not. Also, maybe they just don't want gender-specific gifts, which is totally valid. Some parents might even be thinking of putting their child up for adoption and don't want to talk about their child's sex so it's easier to give them up. And if you don't care about the gender at all, why on earth would you care if they keep it a secret or not???
We found out with our first and excitedly told the world ie. Facebook. We actually got backlash from some family members because they 'didn't want to know' until the baby was actually born! And yet those that didn't want to know the gender, after being told, constantly bugged us wanting to know what name we'd chosen..
So this time around with our second bub on the way, we found out again but are only telling those who ask so we don't have to deal with that negativity we copped... Don't get asked, don't tell is my new mantra!