One thing that could make a new Sex and The City flick worth seeing.

It appears to be on.  Sarah Jessica Parker has given the firmest hints yet that a new Sex and the City film is in the works.  This is the way news comes out now – instagram, twitter and photos of pink heels.

Well. I guess the cat’s out of the (little brown) bag. As usual, we will keep you posted on every detail as we are able. I’m under strict gag order until then. Xx, Sj

A photo posted by SJP (@sarahjessicaparker) on May 11, 2015 at 1:03pm PDT

There are two possible reactions – actually three – when you hear that there may be a new Sex And The City movie.

1. Wake me when it’s over. I couldn’t care less.

2.  NO, SARAH JESSICA. NO. THE LAST MOVIE WAS SO BAD. STOP TARNISHING OUR HAPPY MEMORIES OF CARRIE WITH YOUR LAME AND MONEY-DRIVEN ATTEMPTS TO FLOG THIS MANOLO-WEARING DEAD HORSE.

3. This could work. We’ll give you another chance. We will come see your new movie. But we have one condition, Sarah-Jessica and it’s this:  CARRIE HAS TO GROW THE HELL UP

The problem with the movies was that she never did. Even though Carrie was technically in her 40s, she was still living the life and embodying the values of a woman decades younger. It wasn’t her clothes that were age-inappropriate – they were the best part. It was her utter refusal to evolve into a stage of life beyond drinking cocktails and buying shoes.

Not to discount either of those activities for any self-respecting 45-year-old woman. Who doesn’t like a drink and a shop? But I don’t know many women past 35 who are fulfilled by these things alone. Somehow, between the TV show (1998-2004) and the movies, Carrie became the Peter Pan of women’s pop culture. The girl who got stuck. The girl who forgot to grow up.

It can be hard to impress upon anyone under 35 how important Sex and The City was for a generation of women who had never before seen ourselves and our friends reflected on screen. Forget the sex, female friendship in all its messy, complex and hilarious forms was the star of this show. For the first time, we saw our friendships depicted on TV. And it was glorious.

The way they spoke about everything from sex to pregnancy to dating to their periods was frank and refreshing. Had we ever seen women talking about anal sex on TV before? We had not.

Even the first movie was pretty great, as far as I recall. By the time it came out in 2008, it had been a good few years since we’d seen Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha. It felt like being reunited with old friends.

It was the second movie in 2010 that sparked a swift backlash of disappointment. We had grown up and we wanted these characters to grow up too. But they didn’t. Someone flicked the switch to vaudeville and the plot saw four insufferable women in their 40s behaving like they were stupid schoolgirls. There were none of the life-stage issues we recognised from our own lives and we felt a mix of betrayal, disillusionment and alienation from these women we’d adored for so long.

Particularly Carrie.

During its TV run, to its credit SATC did cover a lot of issues that women in their 30s and 40s deal with. It’s just that none of them happened to golden girl Carrie, who seemed to always exist in a golden bubble of superficial angst. Nothing really bad ever happened to Carrie. Not in the TV show and not in the movies. Her character never experienced any of the hardships and struggles that other women her character’s age are forced to confront.

Both movies centred on an obstacle Carrie had to overcome but they were dilemmas more suited to someone in her twenties. Being left at the altar by Big in the first movie. Kissing an ex-boyfriend in the second movie.

Please. Is that as bad as it gets for Carrie?

The actual issues most women face at her age were always quarantined from Carrie who remained pristine and somehow frozen at 25 in her ivory shoe closet.

Real life was reserved for the other three characters, sprinkled over them like sea salt in fleeting subplots: breast cancer (Samantha), financial struggles (Miranda), aging parents (Miranda), infertility (Charlotte), work/life balance (Miranda), divorce (Charlotte), sexual dysfunction (Charlotte), menopause (Samantha), IVF (Charlotte)…….Carrie was always immune.

And this made it hard to like her, hard to identify with her, hard to root for her. I remember watching that scene in the second movie where Big was sitting at home one weeknight, contentedly watching TV, and Carrie was whining about wanting to put on designer clothes and go out to play. She was petulant and childish, practically stamping her high-heeled foot in a tantrum because she didn’t want the kind of home-life intimacy he clearly craved.

My sympathies were immediately with Big. Grow the hell up, Carrie, I thought.

So here’s what I’d like to see from Carrie if there’s going to be another movie: go to therapy, sort out your shit. Work out why you keep blocking your feelings with shoes. Explore the idea of having children. Decide to do it – or not – but actually acknowledge that this is a question to be resolved, or at least addressed. Have a falling out with one of your friends. Make some new ones. Get divorced – or come close. Have couples therapy. Deal with a mental illness – anxiety? Depression? Deal with a sibling or a parent and some of the issues around our birth families that inevitably come back into play in our 40s. Have a health scare. Consider Botox. Try IVF. Explore feminism.

Am I being too gritty? Is Carrie just meant to be escapism? Like watching the Logies red carpet?

Maybe she is. Maybe I’m over-reaching with my desire for her to more accurately reflect the lives of women I know. Sex and The City was never a documentary, I get that. It was always comedy and fabulous clothes. I don’t want those things to change. But my girlfriends are funny too. I like to go shopping. Yet the issues we talk about, the stuff of our lives is not the same as it was 20 years ago. We’re older, we’re wiser. We have less time for bullshit. We know who we are. We are still full of angst about our work lives our children, our parents, our health, our friends.

But there’s definitely a shift. It’s a different kind of angst at this age. It’s not the same kind Carrie has about the size of her shoe cupboard and being seen at the hottest new bar. Maybe Carrie always was superficial. Maybe we just didn’t notice because for so long it was adorable.

When you’re pushing 50? No so much.

I’m fond of this franchise, I really am. I have enormous affection for those four ladies. I just think they – and we – deserve more than shoes.

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