pregnancy

'I’m pregnant with my second baby. Here are 6 things I’ll be doing differently this time around.'

They say that every pregnancy is different, and that’s proving to be true: not only physically (my morning sickness with baby number two has been something else) but also mentally, emotionally, and in relation to how much online stress-shopping I engage in between the early hours of 2 and 4am.

Without claiming that having a single pregnancy under my belt makes me an expert, I’m passing on the six changes I’ll be making this time around with the wisdom of hindsight. Okay, okay, you've twisted my arm! You can call me an expert if you really want to.

Watch: Bec Judd, on the one thing she never expected from her pregnancy. Post continues after video.


Video via Mamamia.

In: Exercising as a way to feel good.

Out: Being over-cautious about how I move my body.

Pregnancy is a weird and wonderful beast. Your body, which has always been single-occupancy, suddenly becomes share accommodation. In my first pregnancy, I fixated far too much on the things I “couldn’t” or “shouldn’t” do while exercising, a list I cobbled together through late-night Googling (always a no-no) and scaremongering Instagram posts.

In retrospect, I slowed down my exercise routine far too quickly out of fear that I would do the “wrong” thing. This wouldn’t have been a problem if it was what I wanted, but the truth was I didn’t – I just felt I needed to visibly change my workout habits in order to “prove” I was prioritising my baby over myself. 

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This time around, I’ll be taking advice from my doctor and a qualified personal trainer about what changes I have to make for safety reasons, and listening to my own body to figure out the rest (hello, yoga, I missed you so!).

In: Celebrating whatever milestones feel worth celebrating.

Out: Feeling guilty for wanting to find out the sex.

I knew I desperately wanted to know the sex of my first baby, but tied myself in knots trying to justify why. After all, gender is only a social construct, and we’d raise them just the same regardless, and…

And as it turns out, the day we found out our first baby was going to be a boy was one of the most emotional, happiest days of my life. It was the moment the thing growing inside me finally started to take shape as a person – an actual, REAL-LIFE PERSON – and not just an idea. I have no regrets and will absolutely find out the sex of this baby, maybe even with a gender reveal party, even though they’re commercialised and done to death on Instagram, because – who cares? I’m excited! It’s okay to just be excited!

Image: Supplied.

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Out: Stocking up for the apocalypse.

In: Buying as I go.

Truly, the most mind-boggling realisation I had upon the birth of my son wasn’t an incredible love like I had never felt before (okay, that too). It was the understanding that I had maybe, potentially, just a teensy-weensy bit, purchased an entire Baby Bunting store and placed it inside my home as though the actual Baby Bunting store… would cease to exist forever? 

The incredible truth is, you can purchase baby items as you go, and this is actually a really reasonable way to proceed, because every child is different – some adore their bouncers, others are pram nappers from day dot. So rather than try to anticipate my new baby’s every possible need, I’m going to remember that shops are, in fact, still open after my due date, and purchase additional things only as needed.

In: Prioritising comfort.

Out: Letting stress about my changing body override common sense.

For reasons that don’t quite make sense to me now, I was obsessed with wearing restrictive bras during my first pregnancy. I’ve always had reasonably small boobs, so the prospect of them growing and then (GASP) SAGGING scared the living daylights out of me. The result was a sad lady with extremely sore breasts too worried about going bra-less to enjoy a peaceful night’s sleep. As if sleeping while pregnant isn’t essentially impossible already!!!

This time, I’ve bought myself a bunch of comfy cotton crop tops with nary an underwire in sight. Will I be able to sleep? Only time will tell (I mean, I have a toddler now, so probably not), but it sure as hell won’t be my underwear keeping me awake.

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Out: Researching every purchase like a PHD.

In: Bargain hunting.

Here’s the secret the baby industry doesn’t want you to know: almost all baby things are fundamentally THE SAME, especially when they come at the same price point. There aren’t really any bad prams or any bad baby monitors or any bad swaddles or any bad car seats! They all mostly just do what they say on the label. So you can spend 40 minutes or 40 hours or 40 entire weeks, and $40 or $400 or (probably) $4,000, deciding what kind of high chair to buy, and still probably be equally happy with your purchase. It’s just a chair the baby sits in with a tray! Don’t overthink it!

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Listen: Are We Always Postpartum? Post continues after podcast.

This pregnancy, Facebook Marketplace is my best friend, and if a hand-me-down is on offer, I’m taking it – whether or not I’ve audited the online reviews and compiled them into a spreadsheet to aggregate the product with the most five-star ratings.

… Which I would never do. Of course.

Out: Worrying about every little hiccup.

In: Enjoying the ride.

Perhaps easier said than done, but this pregnancy, I’m focussing on just feeling lucky to be here. I haven’t decided how many kids I’m hoping to have (which is a different question again from how many kids I’ll actually have), so I’m conscious that this might be my last pregnancy. Or not! Either way, the familiarity of each milestone means that even the “stressful” parts feel like old friends (gestational diabetes test, I’m ready for you, babe!).

Because, when it comes down to it, how lucky am I? What an incredible opportunity I’ve been given, again. How unbelievable to tread a path that now feels familiar, but to end up in a totally new place; meeting a whole new person, who never would have existed except that I walked down this road.

I mean, maybe it’s all the yoga talking, but I’m pretty sure this is what #blessed was invented for. 

Featured Image: Supplied.

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