There’s a scientific way to apologise that ensures success, with no lavish gifts or begging required. The fact that scientists have taken the time to test the most effective ways to apologise is a huge relief.
It turns out many of us have been doing it wrong.
Sorry, not sorry.
Researchers at the Ohio State University’s Fisher College of Business have come up with six steps to apologising effectively. Study leader Roy Lewicki says apologies are nuanced and that not all of the steps have to be followed, as long as the most important ones aren’t missed.
Six steps to apologising properly:
Expression of regret
Explanation of what when wrong
Acknowledgement of responsibility
Declaration of repentance
Offer of repair
Request for forgiveness
So, Soz is just not going to cut it. Plus researchers say those who apologise quickly have a better shot at forgiveness.
And remember apologising to a family member as compared to say, your boss need different approaches.
However different approaches are needed when apologising to a loved one as opposed to apologising to, say, your boss.
“There are typical, common issues families live with where they’re dealing with repetitive and chronic, hurtful infractions every day,” Jacqueline Hudak, Ph.D., a family therapist, told CBS news. “That’s why I move from an apology to, ‘I can really understand how I hurt you’.”