Mamamia recaps SAS Australia: We absolutely did not need a reunion episode.

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One of the opening scenes of SAS Australia's 2021 reunion episode is celebrity bums.

It is the perfect summation of this evening: unnecessary, uncomfortable, but still... entertaining.

The entire thing looks awkward from the get go. Everyone's sitting on tyres for reasons that remain unclear, and they're all rugged up in scarves because it's the middle of winter and no, we couldn't have done this inside!

So many questions: Could they not go inside? What is Sam sitting on? How are their backs after this? Image: Channel 7.

But it's been a big few weeks of pain, torture, and having the tell the families of fake casualties you left them behind to die, and there's plenty to reflect on.

Was Dan reunited with his spaceship? Has Sam's shoulder fallen off? Can we demand justice for Jana?

Here are the most interesting moments from the debrief.

Manu regrets leaving.

The good My Kitchen Rules judge left early on, with only the sight of the car dangling above the lake enough for him to take his armband off and quit.

He admits he's "pissed off" about it.

"As soon as I said 'I'm going', I wanted to come back straight away.

"I didn't give myself that chance to give myself more and I'll be forever pissed off. I've got to be completely honest with you, if you gave me another chance I'd come back to you guys."

Jett and Koby's DRAMA.

Koby knew he'd be ~different~ from the rest of the recruits going in, but he says he stands by everything he did and respects everyone's efforts.

Then Ant Middleton does some pot stirring, asking Jett about their "friction".

Clearly, Angry James Bond lives for the drama.

"I'm one of those arseholes who will judge a book by its cover," Jett admits. "Couldn't deal with Koby."

OOF.

"We had our disagreements but it's not until you start to go day-by-day, challenge-by-challenge that you understand more and more about people, and Koby's life growing up was super hard.

"I'm very fortunate with my family and everything else growing up that I was kind of comfortable in a way. Koby never had that, and it's not until you open that book and get in there and you start to learn the finer details of someone's life and what's lead them to get to that point that you start to understand why they do things the way they do."

Bless.

Literally my face whenever people are talking about me too. Image: Channel 7.

The DS then say Koby was a morale booster among the group and they didn't want him to leave... and then Billy talks about wanting to visit him in Bali.

ALL THIS BANTER WITH THE ANGRY BRITISH MEN IS SO BIZARRE.

Anyway, Koby says he didn't judge his fellow recruits, but did judge the angry British men as "pricks" initially. Buuuuut now he's on board.

"You guys aren't making TV shows, you're helping people and you're really good at talking to men who need help."

I mean... sh*t. That was profound (but also, they are making TV shows).

Alicia really hated watching the physical fights.

I mean, that's fair. No one really... enjoyed that.

But Alicia, who VW'd after her own fight against Jana, said she hated every moment of it and the emotion got the best of her, so she opted out.

"I keep wondering whether if my son or daughter was standing next to me and I needed to fight for their lives, I wonder if I would've continued to fight, because I just took flight and I gave up.

"Something needs to overcome you to get in that mode of wanting to pummel or kill someone and I didn't have it."

She said she trained a lot coming into SAS, but didn't "train emotion".

Pete and his elbow wanted to return.

Oh bless. Poor Pete and his very wrong looking elbow were also casualties of the fight challenge.

He's literally still sitting there in a sling.

POOR PETE. Image: Channel 7.

Mark admits he had never fought anyone before in his life, which actually makes dislocating someone's elbow even more... impressive.

Sam's weird distraction tactic.

So Sam's shoulder is... cooked. He was in a lot of pain because of it but had a few tricks to keep himself going.

(Side note: should he have kept going? What's the long term impact for short term satisfaction? Is pushing through chronic pain a good thing? IDK!)

Firstly, he told himself his pain could only reach a 10 and then couldn't get worse. I would've tapped out at like, a four.

Secondly, he distracted himself by making a big deal out of the food they were eating. 

"In my food bowl everyday I would rim it out, basically," he says (and yes, this is a terrible quote out of context).

"I would take every last piece of food available. I will never waste food again in my life."

Jana reflects on her collapse.

Jana says as an athlete, you set a high standard for yourself. But during the assault course on day 13, she 'hit the ceiling' of her athletic ability.

She doesn't remember the actual collapse, but remembers seeing spots before she fell.

Image: Channel 7.

"I didn't actually know I could take myself to that level," she says. "I wish I could've done that more."

UGH SHE'S SUCH A LEGEND.

John's asthma.

I didn't actually realise John had asthma until the last couple of episodes when he needed oxygen after the assault course and fainted during the helicopter extraction.

Which makes him all the more impressive, right?? 

Speaking about the helicopter extraction on the final day, he said it all happened like dominos.

"The cold air, it hit my chest, and I just battled to breathe.

"I had this bergen that weighed more than me and I've turned into skin and bones, and because of the cold air my chest started closing in."

Image: Channel 7.

The DS share that as John and Sam were lowered down, they first thought he was taking a nap (lol) and then when he slumped over, thought he was dead.

UHHH. TERRIFYING.

The stretcher task was a turning point for Jess.

Jess said she "saw the gates of hell" multiple times during the challenge where she and Dan had to transport a casualty on a stretcher.

She almost gave up many times, but Dan's encouragement - and reminder about her son - pushed her through it.

"I always questioned my own capabilities and that's been something that's held me back in life, never thinking that I was good enough.

"I now know that I'm capable of anything if I put my mind to it and I believe in myself, and if there's one thing I'm going to take away from this experience it's that 'I can't' is no longer in my vocabulary.

"I'm super proud of myself and I think my son's going to be proud of his mum."

The DS say the day was a "rebirth" for Jess and I'M NOT CRYING I SWEAR.

John explains why he didn't call home.

John's decision not to call home - and his emotional reaction to it - was one of the most perplexing things about the finale.

He explains: "I sat down, I saw the phone, saw the display pic, saw my kids and thought 'nah', I couldn't handle it."

He says as an athlete, he never wanted distractions.

"I felt like, that's my private life and my emotions are my emotions. That's the one little bit I've got left, for me. So I just didn't feel like I wanted to share that and I'll go home, and I'll do it when I get home, I'll show them my love and share that with them."

The parent bond.

Jess says she found it helpful to be around other mothers who had sacrificed time away from their kids to take part in the course.

"I think it's empowering as well to show other women that just because you're a mum, life doesn't stop. We can continuously keep pushing ourselves," she says.

Selfishness and priorities.

OKAY, THIS IS INTERESTING.

Manu says that he got home from SAS to realise he'd been selfish in the past.

"I realised how selfish I'd been sometimes thinking of my career, my success, what I want to do, 'I want to be on this'," he says, even referring to his decision to come on this very show.

"I went back to work, I went back to my business, I went back to my family and I had been selfish just wanting to be here."

Jana shares a similar sentiment she learned after the recruits shared their deepest regrets in a truth circle situation.

"I've often prioritised success and dreams and chasing big goals, and realising that sometimes people get dragged on that journey with you. I realised I have a beautiful family at home, a beautiful life, and maybe my biggest challenge is to actually go and be with my kids rather than chase this dream of being an SAS selection course recruit."

DS Billy says his kids grew up while he was in warzones, but he looks at it as for the greater good rather than just for himself.

"What's the greater gain? You're going to go back as a better person for your family and for you, as long as you've got that on your mind you're doing it for the right reasons. It's worth the sacrifice."

JUSTICE FOR JANA.

The angry British men explain their controversial decision to cut Jana just before the final hurdle, and then only select Sam from the final three.

Image: Channel 7.

They were tearing their teeth out about the Jana decision but she simply have nothing left in her reserve tank.

They say she's "legendary" and "extraordinary" and YES. YES SHE IS.

John says he walked away from the course humbled, stronger, and with a new and improved mindset, so even though he didn't make the final selection, he passed based on his own goals.

THAT. 👏 IS. 👏 SOME. 👏 INSPIRATIONAL. 👏 SH*T. 👏

Mark agrees.

"This has without a doubt changed my life."

Other high/low lights:

• Brynne learned that SAS selection was really hard.
• Manu will cherish the time he and Mark sh*t next to each other for the rest of his life.
• Did Dan out one of the angry British men as a gratitude journaler???????? NEED MORE INFO ON THIS.
• Foxy said the biggest challenge of the entire course was fitting the headgear for the fight challenge on Sam's big head.
• Dan and Jess are a very wholesome duo.
• Sam taught himself to "enjoy the hurt" and how in the hell?
• Emma saying she learned more in her three days on selection than she did in two years of therapy was a bit of a lol
• These British men are really nice when they want to be.

OKAY.

I wanted to be cynical, but that was quite enjoyable.

Still mostly unnecessary. But enjoyable nonetheless.

Until next year pals, when more people I had previously never heard of throw themselves out of helicopters and punch each other in the face. 

Read more:

• Mamamia recaps SAS Australia episode one: OMG, you can't just tear gas people for our entertainment.
• Mamamia recaps SAS Australia episode two: Nobody should be expected to carry a... River Boy.
• Mamamia recaps SAS Australia episode three: WE HAVE OURSELVES A CHEATING SCANDAL.
• Mamamia recaps SAS Australia episode four: Oh good, everyone's punching each other in the face.
• Mamamia recaps SAS Australia episode five: CAN EVERYONE PLEASE STOP BEING MEAN TO KERRI.
• Mamamia recaps SAS Australia episode six: Time for a nice, relaxing 'kill or be killed' scenario.
• Mamamia recaps SAS Australia episode seven: This show just turned into an episode of Law & Order.
• Mamamia recaps SAS Australia episode eight: Everyone spills their deepest, darkest secrets.
• Mamamia recaps SAS Australia episode nine: The recruits are dropping like flies.
• Mamamia recaps SAS Australia episode 10: Everyone is absolutely broken.
• Mamamia recaps SAS Australia episode 11: Jana is clearly this year's MVP.
• Mamamia recaps SAS Australia episode 12: I AM AN EMOTIONAL WRECK.
• Mamamia recaps SAS Australia finale: Three celebs make it to the end, but only one passes selection.

Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Writer. For more pop culture takes, sarcasm and... cat content, you can follow her on Instagram.

Feature image: Channel 7.