A Canberra couple will divorce if same-sex marriage is legalised.

Pass the tissues.

We’re not sure if we can handle it. A Canberra couple is threatening to divorce if Australia legalises same-sex marriage – assuming we care more about their union than we do about equality.

Devout Christians Nick and Sarah Jensen have been married for more than 10 years. They claim to be perfectly happy and desire to have more children in the future.

The Jensens define marriage as: “a fundamental order of creation, part of God’s intimate story for human history, man and woman, for the sake of children, faithful and for life”.

“And so, if later on in the year the state does go ahead and changes the definition of marriage and changes the terms of that contract then we can no longer partake in that new definition, unfortunately,” Mr Jensen wrote in the Canberry City News.

Unfortunate indeed.

It continues:

“Once you say that marriage is detached from children, [that it’s] just about love, then when three people come to the state and say ‘well we’re all in love’, then the state has no grounds, except unjust discrimination, to say why they can’t get married.”

Woah. Not the POLYGAMISTS. What a terrible world in which everyone is free to express their love.

So, to summarise: Nick and Sarah are getting divorced because gay people make a mockery of marriage.

Way to make a point.

After their “divorce” the Jensens say they will continue to live together, “hopefully for another 50 years.” They will refer to each other as “husband” and “wife” and will consider themselves “married”. Basically, what gay people have been forced to do for hundreds of years.

But we have some bad news for you, Nick: We don’t care about your marriage.

A statement on marriage equality from the Mamamia Women’s Network.

We care about equality, love, fairness and acceptance.

So we say, go right ahead Mr and Mrs Jensen. We look forward to holding you to account.

Do you support marriage equality in Australia?

Read more:

Tanya Plibersek on marriage equality: “The ball is in your court, Tony.”

Marriage equality bill introduced to parliament. Almost no Liberal MPs show up.

“Why we’ll keep fighting for marriage equality.”

The PM’s sister says same sex marriage will be legal this year.