“While I’m no Elle Macpherson, I’m tall, slim, blonde and, so I’m often told, a good-looking woman. I know how lucky I am. But there are downsides to being pretty — the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks.”
They’re words from UK columnist, Samantha Brick. In a recent post for the Daily Mail, 41-year-old Brick wrote about the effect of being beautiful.
The plus side? Bar tenders shoo away her credit card, men she doesn’t know send bottles of champagne to her table. “And whenever I’ve asked what I’ve done to deserve such treatment, the donors of these gifts have always said the same thing: my pleasing appearance and pretty smile made their day,” she wrote.
But it’s not all champagne and flowers. According to Samantha, there are many negative by-products of being so attractive.
Women are threatened by her. Jealous wives freeze her out of their lives; insecure female bosses bar her from promotions at work; and none of her female friends have ever asked her to be a bridesmaid at their wedding.
She wrote:
If you’re a woman reading this, I’d hazard that you’ve already formed your own opinion about me — and it won’t be very flattering. For while many doors have been opened (literally) as a result of my looks, just as many have been metaphorically slammed in my face — and usually by my own sex.
I’m not smug and I’m no flirt, yet over the years I’ve been dropped by countless friends who felt threatened if I was merely in the presence of their other halves. If their partners dared to actually talk to me, a sudden chill would descend on the room.
You’d think we women would applaud each other for taking pride in our appearances.
I work at mine — I don’t drink or smoke, I work out, even when I don’t feel like it, and very rarely succumb to chocolate. Unfortunately women find nothing more annoying than someone else being the most attractive girl in a room.
The article became an internet sensation in the days after it was published. At the time of writing, the story had notched up nearly 1.5 million hits for the Daily Mail and nearly 50,000 people had shared it on Facebook. It has been picked up by media outlets around the world, and for a while it was the second top trending topic on Twitter.
The post has also attracted nearly 5000 comments and they aren’t all pleasant. Many readers told Brick to get over herself. She was labelled delusional. One comment – which received a phenomenal 18,000 ‘likes’ from fellow readers – recommended Samantha get a reality check.
In a follow-up piece one day later, Brick wrote the 24-hour period after the article was published had been one of the most horrendous of her life.
“While I’ve been shocked and hurt by the global condemnation, I have just this to say: my detractors have simply proved my point. Their level of anger only underlines that no one in this world is more reviled than a pretty woman.
Yes, I have cried on and off all day. But do I regret my article? Not at all. I’m know I’m risking the wrath of the online community once more, but there is an irony to yesterday. While I was tearfully dealing with the emails and calls outside the supermarket, a young man approached me, offered to park my car and even get me a coffee.
He could see I was having a tough time — and yes, my looks had helped me out again.
I know women reading this will think I deserve to be attacked again. But why should I be? Yes, I’m a good-looking woman — albeit one that has feelings, too.
Do you think women are suspicious of or hostile towards other women just because they’re attractive?
*No name calling on this (or any) post please. Abusive comments towards Samantha Brick (or anyone) will be deleted.
Top Comments
What she's saying isn't completely unheard of. There are studies that back her up: http://www.guyspointofview....
As for her article, yeah she did come off as a bit arrogant but that is probably to cover up her own insecurities. People often brag about things to bolster their own self confidence. I'm no stranger to that; I know I sometimes say things I ought to keep to myself just to reassure myself. You can see that she is doing the same thing by listing all the men who have given her free things, etc. Her bragging is a form of self-reassurance. She was probably rejected as some point in her life (probably the fact that she had a lazy eye and was chubby younger caused some insecurity, I can relate because I had both as well when I was younger), and to cover up that wound she has to repeat why she's better not so much to make other people believe it as it is to convince herself that it is true. That is my honest speculation anyway; speaking as somebody who finds myself making the same mistake often. But the way that people react to her is equally revealing: does that not also point out a lot of insecurity on the behalf of the offended people who take her article so personally and feel the need to publicly bash her and put down her looks?
She probably really is pretty in real life; some people just aren't photogenic. But I don't see how bashing her is a good idea, it only proves her point, no? It certainly doesn't help anything.
Besides, people like Jen Davis sharing their experiences of being judged based on their looks are basically doing the same thing; but they are being applauded for it, not ridiculed. I do think that there is a problem; as indicated by these studies, with people judging other people simply based on their looks, both for being pretty or for being ugly. There's other articles out there that prove the same thing. Either way, it's wrong.
I wrote an article related to this a little while ago trying to explore the different aspects of the skinny vs. overweight ordeal:
Definition of Beauty: A Defense and Reprimand of the Fashion Industry and Those Who Criticize It-Regarding the Problems of Obesity, Anorexia, and Self Respect
mtgrl.wordpress.com
I feel hostility from female friends in my circle. I recently realized why. I believe it's because I'm attractive and have a nice personality. The men in our circle coupled and single find me very attractive. I have no interest in taking anyone's SO away from them. They stare at me all the time. It's sometimes a subtle slight or comment or a deliberate brush off. It totally dumb founded me for the longest time. There's really nothing I can do about it outside of ditching them which I have no interest in doing. It does help me to understand why it's happening but it feels like high school rivalry all over again something most of us grow out of.