A Mother’s Day letter to the mum that’s not here.
Mother’s Day is just around the corner. I know because I see the ads on television. I know because I see the cards appear in the shops. I know because I can’t stop thinking about you.
As is always the case with Mother’s Day I don’t quite know where to find myself. I’m a mother to three beautiful children now who I adore (do you even know that?). I’d love to spend the day totally wrapped up in them, enjoying their smiles and laughter, knowing and appreciating how truly lucky I am. But there is always something that stops me from fully being in that moment.
It’s because I’m also a motherless mother, a daughter of someone no longer here, a best friend missing the other and on Mother’s day especially, I am reminded so clearly of it sitting among the love I have for my own children.
It’s been almost eight years since you died, Mum and I was always told that time would heal these wounds; that one day it wouldn’t hurt. More and more I’m realising though that there is no end to grief, just a change in how I move it around my life.
Day to day I’m okay, I’m good. I’m happy, I’m healthy and I love life. It’s the way you would have wanted me to live. I have an amazing husband, three beautiful children, a great job and wonderful friends. As so many people going through similar things would know though special days have a way of taking you back.
Jacqui with her daughter, Isla (SUPPLIED)
Top Comments
This will be my first mother's day without my mum.she has been gone 6months this Thursday. .my heart is still breaking everyday. Grief is hard to deal with.Thankyou for sharing your story.I am also scared I will forgot her smell her touch her voice.I am already starting to.
Happy mother's to my mum and all the mum's in heaven 😢😢
This is so beautiful and describes almost exactly the feelings I have for my own mother. My eyes are also closed with tears. I am so sorry for your loss and am certain you are a beautiful mother to your own children.