The last 24 hours have been an extraordinarily searing lesson. I should never have been so cavalier in revealing details about my interview with Roxane Gay that should have remained private. I understand that now.
I made many mistakes. The first and worst was not understanding the difference between Roxane writing in her book, Hunger, about her experiences and difficulties of trying to navigate the world and me talking about that experience from the outside, from my perspective.
I mistakenly assumed that because she spoke about it, I could too. But this is not my story to tell and I should not have included it in the intro to the podcast or the podcast description. It was disrespectful and it upset her and for that I am deeply, deeply sorry. Unconditionally sorry.
Reading Roxane’s book Hunger taught me so much and opened my eyes to what life can be like for her and other women of her size. Because they are so much more than that.
It’s something I’ve fought for my entire career in the media, a more diverse portrayal of women. More acceptance for different body shapes. An end to body shaming. The irony of me upsetting and distressing someone who has been so influential and instrumental in the way I view feminism and body image is not lost on me. I am beyond mortified, horrified and ashamed that I could have, in any way contributed to Roxane Gay feeling anything other than fierce, brilliant and beautiful. Because that’s what she is and that is what I’ve always thought her to be.
Please buy her book, Hunger. It’s incredible.
Top Comments
I notice my comment which was critical of you was removed.
So...it's alright for you to lay into this woman, yet no one else is allowed to criticise you? Interesting. Your apology rings even more hollow than it did the first time I read it then.
I was in high school when Mia was the editor of Cosmo. I read all of her columns and they were really what inspired me to get into copywriting. I liked her tone and her perspective - she was funny and the issues were well curated, she had bold ideas and even when they didn't work, you couldn't deny they were innovative. So when she started her own website? I was really excited. And even though, as so many outlets are pointing out, Mia was/is skinny and pretty and privileged? Back then, this curvy bespectacled writer still felt spoken to and heard. She was someone I really looked up to.
I remember the day MamaMia became less Mia Freedman, and more media empire. I expressed my sadness in a comment on the post about it because I'd really enjoyed it being Mia's blog with guest contributors along the way, rather than a network of voices. But I was hopeful.
And now...I express sadness again.
I guess I feel like something has been lost, in the midst of clickbait and bigger advertising dollars and the decision to produce an endless stream of content. I've mostly stopped visiting this site because the articles aren't as engaging, topical or well written as those columns/letters from the editor I used to literally cut out and save when I was just a rookie writer hoping I had something of value to add to the discussion.
Maybe it's the rush to get something out there, that means that less consideration and time goes into things. Maybe Mia's role has changed her tone and perspective, as I imagine it would for anyone who's gone from magazine editor to media empress. I really don't know. I value the apology, but it leaves me wondering how on earth we got here.
For now...I'm going to be grateful that I got to experience the earlier days of Mia's writing and work, and for all the inspiration she gave me to get to where I am. That kid pasting columns into a scrapbook did eventually find her way to an amazing career. I'll feel sorry that discussion of Roxane Gay's excellent book has been eclipsed by this. And I'll hope that things might get better again from here.