During Australian Idol, Rob Mills started exploring his sexuality. He kept it a secret.

2003 was the year Australia met Rob Mills. With his gelled-up hair and frontman charisma, the Melburnian pub singer was one of the fan favourites from the first season of Australian Idol. 

At the same time 'Millsy' was being discovered by TV audiences, Rob Mills was discovering himself.

After years quietly questioning his sexuality, the then-21-year-old entered a "wonderful", "exhilarating" phase of his life in which he explored connections with men. It was an era of nightclubs, dancing, and hookups with a handful of gay friends and, occasionally, strangers.

Watch: An interview with Rob Mills. Post continues after video.

As detailed in his book, Putting on a Show: Manhood, Mates and Mental Health, the singer and musical theatre star’s first step into this world came courtesy of "a bit of an orgy" with an unnamed woman and Mills' fellow Idol contestant Shane Jenek (better known by their drag name Courtney Act).

"I think that first experience with Courtney planted some seeds of discovery, and made me even more curious about who I was and what I wanted," he wrote.

These were curiosities that Mills had pushed aside since they first struck during his teen years. Speaking to Mamamia’s No Filter podcast, Mills said that, back then, he didn’t feel he even had a choice.

"When you're a kid, your parents are always like, 'Alright, what are you into? Is it badminton? Is it Little Athletics? Is it swimming? Is it cricket? Is it footy? Is it netball?' You're expected to try so many different things. But for some reason, when it comes to sexuality — especially when I was growing up — there was no discussion around it," he said. "It was so taboo."

Even as this new world of exploration opened up to him during the Idol era, Mills only embraced it privately. The eyes of Australia were on him and, "consciously or subconsciously" (he’s not sure which), he felt this was something he was meant to keep secret.

"It was definitely playing on my mind," he said. "I probably didn't talk about it enough to my brother. I didn't talk about it enough to anyone, really, because I was trying to process it myself."

Listen to No Filter with Rob Mills. Post continues after audio.

In his mid-20s, Mills turned to therapy to break through the shame and guilt and to work on his long-held habit of "boxing up anything emotionally complex".

He even began to openly refer to himself as bisexual. 

It’s not a label that sits comfortably with him these days; none really do. But he very much embraces that part of his life and what it taught him about his desire for connection. The decades since have been ones of greater self-confidence, self-discovery, and a number of meaningful relationships. He’s now engaged to journalist and television presenter Georgie Tunny.

Mills' is now intent on starting conversations about topics like sexuality; ones that Aussie men like him have long felt unable to have.

"I think for a lot of blokes — whether straight, queer, bi, bi-curious or gay — there's this shame and guilt that sits around it. And unfortunately, that probably still exists in parts of Australia and the world," he said.

"The thing I was trying to get across in the book is, who cares? Explore it! Go for it! Find your tribe, find the people that are going to support you in this world. They don't have to necessarily be your family or bloodline, but there is a family for you. There is a tribe around that will support these choices. And if it is just trying it out, who cares? You're just trying it out. Give it a go. As long as you're not hurting yourself, as long as you're not hurting other people, why can’t you?"

Feature Image: Getty.