Yesterday you were on a beach, sipping margaritas and watching the sunset.
Today you’re peering out the aeroplane window as your city comes into view, wondering how you’re going to cope when you arrive home.
Much to your dismay, the holiday is officially over and you’re about to face these eight inevitable stages of returning home. Good luck.
1. Fighting jetlag.
You feel flippin’ fine. You don’t know why everyone complains about jetlag — it’s not even real, according to some scientist in an article you read one time.
Well, he’s right, you’re not tired at all, you… have fallen asleep on the couch at 7pm, only to wake up wide awake 4am. You toss and turn trying to return to your slumber, but it’s no good. Welcome to jetlag.
2. Avoiding unpacking.
Let's be honest: nobody drags their suitcase inside and gets unpacking straight away. Regardless, you tell yourself, 'I'll get onto that tonight'.
After all, you have SO MANY loads of washing to do... but then there are so many episodes of Gilmore Girls to watch.
Alas, that suitcase is still there six days (or weeks) later. You slowly pick at it, fishing out the things you need, one pair of socks at a time, until you finally give in and unpack it after the third time you've stub your toe on it. It's the hardest five minutes of your life.
3. Inspecting your souvenirs.
Among the magnets and shell necklaces in your luggage, you spot a tropical-themed Christmas ornament. 'Oh I forgot I bought this' you think (with either delight or regret).
Then horror strikes: where's that precious item? You know, the one you bought at that gaudy shop on the last day because you still had $10 of foreign currency that needed spending. You panic, thinking you've left it in the hotel, only to find it wrapped up in your new tie-dye sarong — the one you you already know you're never, EVER going to wear.
4. Coming out of holiday-mode.
What do you mean I have to cook my own dinner AND make my own bed every day?
In your holiday state you've reverted to the responsibility-free mindset of a child. Now, begrudgingly, you accept that you must resume cleaning your own bedroom and preparing your own meals. But not right away! The first few days at home you'll order takeaway, go out for lunch, accept invitations to your parents' house for dinner - whatever it takes to not cook.
5. Sorting through photos.
Ahh yes, looking at the photos — that will be nice, you figure. Only there are too many to look at. You probably should get them printed and put into a proper photo album or something... but then you've already loaded the best shots to Instagram. There are so many double-ups. So many shots of sunsets/buildings/waterfalls.
Actually, are there any nice photos of you in here at all? Eh, you'll sort through them later. (Spoiler: it never happens.)
Feel like ugly-crying when you return from a holiday? You're not alone. (Post continues after gallery.)
The best celebrity ugly cries of all time
6. The return to work.
You love your job (or maybe you really don't), but returning to the office is always difficult after an extended period of doing whatever you want, whenever you want.
No, you can't sleep in til 10am and roll out of bed to a late breakfast, maybe a quick dip in the pool. Instead, it's back to filing reports, unjamming the photocopier and staring at the clock. Was the work day always this long?
7. Talking about your holiday.
They asked if you had a good trip. You proceeded to tell them every detail of the construction of the Colosseum - well, you are now an expert after that 30-minute audio-tour. You know the person you're talking to is bored, but you can't stop.
You must keep talking about your holiday - the "stunning" architecture you saw, the "authentic" dishes you ate... that time you saw a whale jump out of the water and it was "majestic". Must keep the magic alive.
8. Starting the planning (and saving) for your next trip.
So... where are we going next and how soon can I get there?