The top five relationship showstoppers for women.

By: Chris Armstrong for Divorced Moms

Everyone has showstoppers in relationships. These are things that we just can’t look past when it comes to our mate. It’s a question I ask in every relationship learning lecture and session I do. To date, that amounts to 14,876 women and this is an aggregate view of their top five relationship showstoppers.

But first, let me just say that I am not capturing those responses that touched on physical attributes.

1. Indecisiveness.

Women don’t want to date someone that has a “whatever you want honey” response to questions nor do they want to date someone that just doesn’t take charge. It’s quite simple really. There has to be give and take or one of the two people in the relationship are going to feel like they’re the only one driving the car and, if that’s going to be the case, why not just have a bicycle? Oh yeah, because they’re boring.

2. Deadbeat father.

I was initially shocked that this garnered the 2nd most votes. My shock did not come from some naivety behind the problem some men seem to have with being responsible fathers but more so because it tells me how many women would either date men with children or the simple fact they think about this detail regardless of their status as a mother.

But, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. 'If he's a deadbeat dad than how will that lack of responsibility and nurturing translate to a potential relationship with me?' Or, 'I'm a parent and I can't imagine what kind of a soulless person could simply ignore the needs of their children'. Sounds like a reasonable showstopper to me.

3. No/Limited prospects.

I always find it funny when people think it's shallow to want to date someone that has prospects. Taking it a step further, people will assume that because they have a job then that's the same as having prospects and, they feel like a woman must be a gold digger if she's looking for someone with more.

Let me say first that this can certainly be the case but it can also be true that a woman would simply feel that if a guy doesn't have a lot of money and has a long-term view of working, for instance, as an assistant manager at some fast food chain, than the ability to go on holidays, be able to help their kids through university, not live pay to pay, etc... goes out the window.

In short: If he doesn't care to improve his life than he may not care to make a better life for the family as a whole. Compound this with the fact that women are in the workplace and don't need someone to take care of them AND, obviously, don't want to feel as though they have to take care of someone else.