"I regret thinking I could fix him." 16 women share their biggest relationship regret.

Many of us will look back on our past relationships with some form of regret. 

Whether that be regret for not being a better person while in the relationship, regret for staying with the wrong person for too long, or regret for simply doing something in a way that you would do differently now — it's something we've all experienced.

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While regrets generally come with negative connotations, they are invaluable life lessons that we take with us into the future. So, if you regret something you did or didn't do in a previous relationship, it's more likely that you'll make a conscious effort to do things differently going forward.

And for these 16 women, that certainly rings true. 

"My biggest relationship regret is schooling my thoughts and opinions to say the 'right' thing."

"My biggest relationship regret is schooling my thoughts and opinions to say the 'right' thing to avoid a fight, or seem like I’m the 'perfect person'. I spent years learning how to make myself into exactly what my partner wanted, changing my opinions to match theirs and never really challenging them. This led me into a really damaging relationship where I lost a lot of myself. But now, I try to stay true to myself. Sometimes I might fall into that behaviour, but never on the important stuff. 

"Also, I’ve made a strong effort not to use my tears to get out of an argument. Crying to get my own way is manipulation and I’ve been on the other side of that now and I know it’s wrong and unhealthy."

"I regret every time I put the partner before friends or family."

"I regret pulling away from my friends during a relationship and then crawling back when it ends. I regret every time I put the partner before friends or family."

"I regret not opening up to any of my friends or family about what he was like behind closed doors."

"I regret not opening up to any of my friends or family about what he was like behind closed doors. He was misogynistic, narcissistic, manipulative, and controlling. I didn't tell anyone until after we had split up, and no one had any idea that he was like that."

"I regret thinking I could fix him."

"I regret being too trusting, very naive and also thinking I could fix him. I got my awesome kids though."

"I regret being nice and polite to my ex-in-laws."

"I regret being nice and polite to my ex in-laws. If only I was like J-Lo in Monster-in-Law."

"I regret letting myself be walked all over."

"I regret letting myself be walked all over and allowing it to be on someone else's terms. At the time, the feeling was that if you don't allow it to happen in that way, then you'll be in trouble, or they won't want to be with you. Now, I'm just like, how could you let yourself be treated like that?"

"I regret giving 100 per cent effort and priority."

"I regret giving 100 per cent effort and priority, whilst I received about 20 per cent in return. RIP to that quarter of my life... literally a quarter."

"I don't have many regrets in life but how I treated her and what happened between us is something I'd change."

"Ending a four-year relationship and going straight back to my ex. I ended an engagement and my ex ended her marriage around the same time. So, looking for a distraction, I went back to her for some easy fun times. Although not so easy or fun because everyone got hurt in the process including my ex fiancé. I don't have many regrets in life but how I treated her and what happened between us is something I'd change."

"I regret not putting myself first when I was a lot younger."

"I regret not putting myself first when I was a lot younger, and staying in a relationship just because it seemed 'easier' and I didn't want to fully sit with myself and figure out my sh*t. But once I did, it was the best decision I ever made."

"I wish I stood firm on deal breakers."

"I wish I stood firm on deal breakers. I would constantly try to make things work despite knowing I could never stay with someone that acted in particular ways. And four years later, I realised that maybe things don't change! Also, just staying with someone when I was no longer happy or excited by them. I will recognise in future when to let go."

"I regret buying him a surfboard."

"I regret buying him a surfboard. I should have spent that money on myself!"

"I regret allowing an ex to manipulate me into staying with him."

"I regret allowing an ex to manipulate me into staying with him for nearly two years by threatening self harm (and sometimes actually doing it) if I left. He made me believe that I was causing it and as a 19-year-old, that was way too much to handle. Especially when he was truly narcissistic and cheated on me with so many of my high school friends."

"Not communicating what I want clearly."

"Not communicating what I want clearly... I just went with the flow. It’s hard, but I try to communicate now."

"I moved in with someone after dating for less than a month despite all the red flags."

"I moved in with someone after dating for less than a month despite all the red flags. I then stayed with him for three years through a torrent of various types of abuse and have only just started making an emotional recovery four years on. I’ve not let myself get into a position of being couple-y enough to be close to living with a significant other since then for fear of history repeating itself."

"Not getting out of a toxic relationship sooner."

"Not getting out of a toxic relationship sooner (it lasted nearly three years), and thinking it was all that I deserved. I definitely don’t settle for anyone who isn’t treating me with respect, but I know it can also cause me to be overly critical of people’s actions too... good and bad." 

"I spent eight years of my 20s with someone who on reflection, was just a friend/roommate."

"I think we are brought up in a way that as long as a guy is nice, honest and treats you okay then he is a keeper. I spent eight years of my 20s with someone who on reflection, was just a friend/roommate. Dating in my 30s I have a much different perspective and won’t be allowing myself to be in a relationship that doesn’t have fun, chemistry, physical attraction and support in it."

What's your biggest relationship regret? Let us know in the comments below.

Feature Image: Getty.

If this post brings up any issues for you, or if you just feel like you need to speak to someone, please call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) – the national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service. It doesn’t matter where you live, they will take your call and, if need be, refer you to a service closer to home.