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Some guy we've never heard of says intruder Rachel is marrying Sam Wood.

 

Rachel getting married?

She’s been a fairly sullen and stand-offish addition to The Bachelor harem, but according to some guy I’ve never heard of, Rachel Moore is marrying Sam Wood.

I do not include a spoiler alert here because this information is dubious. I would go as far as to say outlandish. Improbable. Absurd.

Rachel Moore, 29, was an intruder into the Bach household last week and it’s fair to say she hasn’t made a great impression.

Glaring from beneath her blunt fringe, she was all, “I don’t care if anyone likes me”, but somehow managed to stay in the game, getting a rose from Wood at the eleventh hour.

Now, her friend Printz Board is saying she’s preparing for a wedding.

Who is Printz Board, you ask? Well, he appears to be an American music producer who once worked with the Black Eyed Peas.

He called Moore his “bestie”, which seems a stretch since I couldn’t find any pictures of them together on Instagram (following an admittedly half-arsed search), indicating this may be an overstatement.

Here’s what he wrote:

Next, he appeared to confirm the win on August 31:

Finally, according to my forensic examination of this case, he seems to retract that statement with this September 1 2015 post:

Well? Is Printz Board friends with Rachel Moore? What is a Printz Board? Will the befringed one indeed marry Sam Wood? Will Printz Board and Will.i.Am perform Don’t Phunk With My Heart (that is a real song, btw. I googled) at the wedding?

If you have answers to any or all of those questions, please let us know with great haste.

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Top Comments

tabitha 9 years ago

You missed the most delightful opportunity to hyphenate their names to 'Rachel Moore-Wood'.

You're welcome.


Nikki 9 years ago

Do you know what, I could actually see it, mainly because she is the one I would choose if I was him. I like her droll, sardonic demeanour- it is such an antidote to the relentless coquettishness of the others.