My eight-year-old daughter lost a tooth yesterday. It fell out during gym class. There is a generous excitement bonus when a tooth is lost at school, but along with her delight at being that one tiny step closer to big, comes a very familiar dilemma for me.
When is it the right time to tell children that the Tooth Fairy is about as real as talking pigs and Prince Charming?
My daughters are eight, nine and ten-years-old (yes – very close, no – not on purpose). And they all still believe.
They believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and magic. I’m not sure how or why, for they all have friends at school who have been telling them otherwise for years. My eldest even had a pre-school friend who reveled in sharing her wisdom that Santa was ‘fake’ and parents were liars – when they were five years old!
I’ve always responded to questions about Santa and the Tooth Fairy’s existence with the tried and true – “If you believe in them then they are real.”
Was that a lie? I suppose, but I happily stuck with it without too much thought for a very long time. It did the trick. They were sufficiently satisfied with my answer and it’s kept my girls sweet, little and innocent for just a little longer in a world where Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga are constantly nipping at their still baby soft heels.
Recently I decided that the time had come. Their commitment to fairy playgrounds, elves and rodents bearing chocolate had begun to make them look like fools, ripe for playground ridicule. My eldest was speeding towards puberty and she still believed in fairies. I wish it didn’t matter, but it did.
So, one opportune evening when my littlest had gone to bed, I gathered my two big girls and came clean about Phoebe, the Tooth Fairy who services our local area and has left them so many miniature, lavender-scented notes over the years.
Their reactions surprised me. Miss Ten said straight away, “I knew it!” Immediately followed by “But Santa is still real right?”
And Miss Nine, tears streaming down her face, said in the cutest possible way, “Can I still believe if I want to?”
Perhaps she was worried she wouldn’t get two dollars for her teeth anymore, perhaps she was clinging to her childhood in an age when it doesn’t last long enough. Either way, Phoebe visited Miss Eight last night and we are expecting Santa in December.
Kim Kind is a freelance journalist and mum to three pre-pubescent girls. Before having three babies in three years she worked in corporate communications.
When did you find out the truth about Santa and the Tooth Fairy ?
Top Comments
I found out around Grade 3. When other kids were talking about it at school. I just asked straight-out - but I don't think I expected to be told the truth about Santa.
As a future primary school teacher, I get a bit twitchy in the classroom toward the end of the year. When Christmas activities are raised, I am waiting for the loud-mouthed kid who is raised differently* to blurt it out and, at that time, all the kids in the classroom will be destroyed and I'll have to answer to 20-odd parents about why their child is shattered! Plenty of 11-year-olds still believe - and I've heard of a boy who stopped believing in Grade 9.
* I'm totally not saying that children who are raised differently (and by that, I mean not in the 'traditional' way of believing) are loud-mouthed, but that the combination of a child who knows the truth, with a loud-mouth personality is very concerning for me!
I am pretty sure I worked these things out naturally over time. Our house wasn't very big and I could often hear mum and dad wrapping presents on Christmas eve when I was too excited to go to sleep.
Our boys are 4 and 2. We've never explicitly talked about the role of Santa at Christmas. They (well, the 4yo) know it's a symbol of Christmas, but we've never said that Santa brings the toys. Not sure what we'll do re the tooth fairy. I suspect we will play along with that one - mostly because those teeth have caused us so much angst in coming, I'll be wanting to celebrate the end of them!