There’s no denying breakups are hard. But not this hard.
A Queensland man has been caught out legit hiring a thief to steal his girlfriend’s possessions in order to make breaking up with her easier, the Gladstone Observer reports.
Despite being unemployed, father-of-two Michael Dennis Boulton paid someone $200 to remove his now ex-girlfriends belongings from the house they shared while he took her away on holiday.
While his plan was simple, to dump the partner while on holiday and return home as if their relationship never even happened, it contained a crucial and highly obvious flaw – people tend to notice when all their sh*t goes missing.
If only the woman, you know, hadn’t have reported all her clothes, jewellery, laptop and passport missing, he might have (most definitely not) gotten away with it.
Boulton fronted the Gladstone Magistrates Court on Tuesday, where he was ordered to serve a 12-month probationary period and pay a very specific $866 in restitution to his ex-girlfriend.
Pleading guilty to one count of stealing, the 30-year-old admitted he "should have handled the breakup better".
Truer words have never been spoken.
LISTEN: If you're thinking of breaking up with someone, don't pay someone to steal their stuff. Listen to Osher Gunsberg's advice instead...