If you get engaged at the same time as a close friend or relative, is it a happy coincidence – or are you stealing their thunder?
A 29-year-old man took to Reddit to ask that very question recently and to ask for some much-needed advice. The man, who went by the name double_proposal_dude, has been with his 28-year-old girlfriend for four years and is ready to pop the question.
The only problem? He was planning on proposing during an upcoming family holiday - but has just discovered that his partner's cousin's boyfriend has the exact same plan.
He asked the people of Reddit if he should stick to the original plan and propose to his partner, or whether that would be bad proposal etiquette.
He wrote:
My SO and I are going to Spain over the holidays with her family and I had been planning on proposing to her while we're there.
Now recently I found out that her cousin's BF is going to propose to her while we're there too!
My SO and her cousin aren't very close. My SO however is very close with her Grandparents, and Aunt/Uncle...and I am worried about this not being as special for her. Especially as her entire family will be there and already fawning over her cousin's engagement.
It didn't take long for the advice to roll in.
HeyApples wrote, "Don't let other people determine your life, your plans, and your schedule. Especially some distant cousin that you aren't even close to. Especially over some nebulous perception and etiquette that no one will even remember a month after the fact" while starstuff89 said "I don't know wtf people are talking about here. Just go with the plan. Coincidences happen."
But the overwhelming consensus was to ditch the plan and propose before the trip.
Posters like ToTTenTranz suggested plans like, "I'd say propose somewhere else at some other time. Even a weekend away would be a better time/place than proposing during the same vacation as her cousin...do it before going to Spain or at least a couple of months afterwards. Otherwise, she may think your proposal came as a reaction to her cousin's."
Our two cents' worth? Just do it. Now.
Would you be happy to get engaged at the same time as a close relative?
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