@emh I totally agree. Provocative pics of young girls can attract all sorts of dangerous, unwanted attention from internet predators, often pretending to be teenage boys. We need to protect our children; even if it means not being their "friend" at times.
Your post is very distressing to read. It is obvious that you need much more help than you are given. You need regular respite care for this child. You can't expect yourself to be super woman. I hope that you soon find the help that you and your adoptive son so desperately need.
I feel so sad for you. He was obviously not a true christian, with his pathetic reasons for not including you in the wedding party. I hope you might reconcile your friendship with your former best friend one day xxx
I guess this poor little boy didn't fit in with the perfect life that this couple wanted to project. So they "rehome" him like an unwanted puppy dog. Now the poor kid is going to feel extra abandoned. This story makes me feel so sad.
That guy really did a number on you. I wonder how many more hearts he's broken since then. I've also been stupid enough to ignore red flags in the past. Never again.
Meanwhile, in 2020, it seems that everyone, of every size and shape, is committing the crime of wearing leggings instead of pants. Leaving people like me constantly wanting to cover our eyes, being confronted by every single curve and crevice of people's buttock shapes, and more.
Mama, please don't beat yourself up. As far as I can tell, you did the best that you could in the circumstances that you were in. Your daughter has grown into a beautiful human being. So you must have done something right. I don't know what painful circumstances you are referring to, but please, please, don't try to blame yourself for how they may have affected your mothering. Please give yourself some credit. You deserve it. xxx
You either need respite care or you need to put this kid into a home. His acts of violence will probably escalate, the older and stronger he gets. Do you want to be scared for your life and the lives of the rest of your family? Can his doctor perhaps try him on some psych drugs to stabilize his moods ? I feel so worried for you and your family. I hope that you Will find a solution that will be good for all of you.
My first husband left us when my daughter was a toddler and our son was due to be born any day. He ended up being born almost 3 weeks early, probably from the stress. It was a devastating time, and it took years for me to build myself back up. I hate that term single mother, because when a lot of people say it, they say it with a sneer in their voice. I had a lot of people look down on me for being a single mother. People often had this attitude that single mothers were supposedly loose women or girls, who got pregnant on purpose and wanted to so called sponge off welfare. But single fathers were admired and looked upon as heroes. My second ex husband used to post pictures of himself and our little boy on dating sites. I soon put a stop to that. All single parents, regardless of whether they are female or male, are doing a very hard job, and most are putting their all into making sure their kids have the best that they can give them.
My first husband left me for an older woman. However, he still continued to see me. After a couple of years, I spoke to her one day. We realised that he had been lying to both of us. He had told her that the reason he left me was because I was supposedly a lesbian, who kept on wanting to have babies. Wow. Not only was I not a lesbian; the two babies we had together were both wanted by both of us, supposedly. The other woman still stayed with him for another few years after that. Then she left him because she didn't want to end up like me.
I wish that book had been around when my second husband and I split up. It would have really helped.
I was always thin, up until my mid forties, when I was diagnosed with a mental illness and put on medications, which caused me to gain weight. As a teenager, I became anorexic and obsessed with being as thin as possible. I believe the main cause was my dad, who was a vicious and nasty individual. My mum and one of my sisters were a little overweight. Another of my sisters, just a child, was not overweight; she was just a tiny bit chubby. My dad was forever yelling at my mum and these two sisters, that they were fat pigs who sat on their lazy, fat bums all day. This gave me the message that it was bad to be "fat" and that it made a person worthless. So I ate as little as possible and weighed myself daily. At one point, I got down to 45 kilos. People would tell me I was too thin and needed to eat more. I just couldn't. Besides, then, just the same as now, overweight people were fat shamed and laughed at. It's all still exactly the same today. A person's size and shape should not be an indicator of their value as a person. And both "large" and "little" people do not need other people to tell them what they need to do and to eat in order to gain better health. Chances are, most people already pretty much know what they need to do and to eat in order to have better health.
I actually really love your engagement ring. I think a lot of diamond rings are quite ugly and ostentatious. I love the reason that you and your husband chose this ring and stone. I love that it is petite and understated in it's beauty. My second husband gave me an engagement ring that was a gold band with three cubic zirconias. I did like it, because three is my lucky number. A lot of people were fooled, and believed it was three diamonds. Until this horrible man at work ripped my ring off my finger, and was about to scratch it against the window to so called prove that they were real diamonds. Luckily I snatched my ring back, before he could damage it. Be comforted by the fact that your engagement ring is more precious than all the diamonds in the world, to you and your husband. And it is beautiful because it is unique.
All my life, I've had people comment on my weight, whether I was thin or fat. I was naturally thin for the majority of my life. I was anorexic during my teens. People commented that I was too thin and bony, and my boobs were flat. I didn't care. Fat people got harrassed worse than I was. My thin father used to call my fat mother and two of my sisters who were chubby, "Lazy, fat pigs," who always sat on their "big fat bum". Nope, I didn't want to get that sort of treatment, so I continued to watch what i ate. In my early 20's, when my daughter was a toddler, I was the thinnest I had ever been. Even though I was eating heaps, and even drinking lots of milk. I was burning it off from running after my toddler all day long. People thought it their job once more to tell me i had to eat more and drink more milk. It was really none of their business, as I was eating and drinking very well. I stayed slim, until somewhere in my mid to late 40's, when I was diagnosed with bipolar, and put on psych medications. I eventually put on weight that was hard to shift. Then of course, came all the advice to diet and exercise. I don't need any advice. I've heard it all before. I'm probably an expert by now. That's how much I've read, watched on tv and video, and been told verbally by now. So my advice to all those so called perfect people out there is, do not judge a person by their weight, do not give advice, unless you are asked. We are all on our own journey through life. You do not know of another person's inner struggles, or what part of their journey they are on. Value them as a person; not as someone who is too thin, too fat, has too small boobs or bum, or too big boobs or bum.
Dirty old man, abusing his position of power so many times, and thinking he could get away with it. He doesn't seem to care at all about the untold damage he has done to his victims and their families. I really hope this animal gets locked up.
I didn't realize how much societal attitudes have changed. When I got married at the age of 22, this was not considered to be too young. It was quite normal for people to get married in their late teens or early twenties. After all, a woman's peak fertility is at around the age of 25. Once a woman turns 30, her fertility decreases with each year. I think that people who make negative assumptions about women who have children in their teens or early 20's, are being really petty and nasty. There are many positives about being a younger parent, such as having more energy to spend time with your kids and play with them. When you're an older parent, your body is more creaky and tired, and it really is harder to keep up with your kids. That's been my experience anyway. I had my first three children when I was aged 22, 25, and 30. I always had loads of energy to spend with them. When I had my lucky last at age 40, in some ways I had more time to spend with him, as the other kids were aged 9, 15, and 17. But in other ways I just felt so tired, I didn't think I'd ever get a decent night's sleep again.
Well said, Laura x
What an arrogant, brainless fool. How dare he. I bet all the families who lost loved ones or lost their homes are feeling so much "better" after his "comforting" words of "wisdom". Will someone please gaffer tape his mouth before he utters more "wise" words.
Both of my ex husbands were narcissists; just in slightly different ways. My first ex husband would stand there coldly, expressionless, and secretly record me crying. He would later play the tape back to me. I would break the tape and cry more. He never seemed to understand the pain I was in. He would also time me, and remind me how long i had been crying, as if it was something i had control over. My second husband would fall asleep while I was crying in bed beside him, just wanting a hug and some gentle words. With both of those husbands, I would cry so much, that my face was puffy and red even the next day. Sometimes I cried for days. I even verbalised that I just wanted a hug, kind words, and maybe a hot sweet cup of tea. They didn't care. I felt like my whole life was just made up of sorrow and tears. I couldn't seem to control it, which made me feel more pathetic. The only time I saw my first husband cry was when he'd tried to rape me in my sleep, and said the meanest words ever to me when I refused him, then kicked and scratched at him to get him off me. Poor delicate man cried because he thought I'd given him a blood nose.
The only time i remember experiencing my second husband crying was years after we split up, and he rang me in tears to let me know his dad had died. Funny thing, because while his dad had been alive, and he had been his dad's carer for a few years, he had treated his dad like crap and ignored him most of the time.
Since being divorced, which is several years now, I have been diagnosed with bipolar, received professional care and medications which help me. Nowadays, it's hard for me to even get a couple of tears in my eyes. I prefer it that way. I never want to feel that weak and drained again. The last time i properly cried was 10 years ago, when my family and i flew to Perth to view my brother's body after he had taken his own life. I still think of my brother from time to time, and wonder if there was something any of us could have done to prevent this tragedy.