I haven’t such a good laugh in ages!  Great writing, you should be a comedian! 

I think you are extremely lucky to have access to a high standard of childcare! We tried several but the standard of care was very questionable. In the end, we gave up and I stayed home to look after my children myself which I wouldn’t recommend if it decent childcare is available. 

Don't take it seriously. It's meaningless.

Load of rubbish of course. The researchers were supposed to be discovering IF there were social classes in Australia not where one might fit in. Any "classy" Australian simply puts others or themselves into one of two classes- "Honest and Hardworking" or "Lazy Bastard."