This is the article I've been searching for. I wish this was me. 😢 I have been separated from my ex for just on a year now. The decision to separate was mine after suffering severe PND after the birth of our two children which has progressed into depression and high-functioning anxiety. Instead of seeking counseling together, I chose to break up and divide our entire family in search of the old 'me' thinking that I needed to be alone to do this. Throughout this illness, he has never really been there for me emotionally, but did everything he could to try to 'fix' me by pushing me to attend my GP, a psychologist and couples counselling. I did not have the emotional, mental or physical strength at the time to follow through. Since separating and attending regular therapy sessions I have come to the very real conclusion that I absolutely love this man and never intended for this to be our end. I have expressed my feelings to him whenever the moment feels right, and we have had some intimate moments (kisses, hugs & sex) over the last 12 months leading me to believe that we could still have a future. On a few occasions over the last three months or so, I have asked him if he would be willing to chat about 'us' - not in an effort to reconcile immediately, but more to place clarity on our feelings for each other - only to be told "There's too much damage and I'm not ready". My head is spinning out of control right now. He has been seeing someone else since about June last year but doesn't call her his girlfriend. There is a level of jealousy there for me, but I know that he is free to do as he wishes.