I can relate to your story very well. My son has been mentally ill since he was 6 years old. Now he is  35. Misdiagnoses, numerous doctors, hospitals etc. I even came back to the US  from Germany to get him help.. left my job, my mom.. lots. Every year in the fall he starts to withdraw.. says he wants nothing or little to do with me. My talking and the problems that I discuss with other family members pulls him down. I believe he is bipolar and is on the wrong meds but he refuses to listen. His father withdrew from all in his 50s.. I divorced his father 32 years ago. I feel helpless and hurt. I thank God every day I have a mentally healthy younger son who has been my support for the past 23 years. How do others deal with this hurt? I did all I could financially and emotionally to help him get to where he is now.. he is an IT engineer but he has forgotten it all. He drinks, smokes weed and does vaping.. I wonder if the weed is making him this way.. I do not know. Can anyone else relate?