After I was diagnosed with breast cancer my best friend of 36 years who is a nurse came to care for me after a mastectomy. The plan was for her to stay for two weeks and someone else would come and help me with hygiene, appointments, meds, dressings etc. She stayed an extra week but started to act strangely. She was drinking everyday and getting angry with me about every thing. One night she decided to go to a friends for a BBQ for some respite. She called and said she would be staying there overnight. At this stage I couldn’t shower, brush my hair or leave my apartment. The following day hours started to pass and around midday I text to see when she might be coming back so I could change my dressings. She called me and said her husband had booked her a flight home to north coast New South Wales and she was coming to collect her luggage. When she got back I asked if she was okay and she said she couldn’t do it anymore and that she had changed. I asked what she meant and she didn’t want to talk about it with me and quickly grabbed her belongings and left me in the apartment alone. I had to call friends to see who could come and help me. A week later I text my friend and asked if she was okay. She didn’t replay. A month or so later I text and told her I loved her. I have no idea why she left in such a hurry that day or why it has been 6 years without any communication. I grieved our lifelong friendship. When I needed her most she deserted me without explanation. I really wanted to know what had happened and was sad about the loss for a good couple of years. Now I’m just disappointed and confused how such a strong friendship could end when I was so vulnerable and without any kind of closure. Now I don’t want her in my life. I am angry for being let down so intensely and she is a coward! A real friend would have at the very least organised something with my family before leaving. A psychologist said she may have felt confronted by her own mortality, she may have expected me to break down and rely on her mentally and emotionally but I was the strong one for everyone else, she may have not been able to admit she wasn’t coping and blamed me. I may never know. IApparently it is common for women to lose their closest friends after being diagnosed with cancer. It’s shocking and was so unexpected. We’re all going to die sometime so may as well appreciate everyday you do have! #cancersucks #checkyourtits