When your ex-husband came to you seeking reconciliation, you responded condescendingly. You set an arbitrary timing on when he could earn his way back to a relationship. Worse, you did not express certainty in desiring the relationship. You would only "consider" it after a year. Call it what you will but your actions could have been interpreted as a power play to show him he was in relationship probation. This isn't an exoneration of his years of misbehaving. It is an acknowledgement of the part, albeit limited, that you played.  Feeling slighted is warranted. Yet citing derogatory reasons why some men move on quickly compared to women, though ephemerally comforting, will further embitter you in the long run. Nevertheless, I commend you on your courage, candor and wish you the best of luck.