You are 100% right. I’m a therapist and teach a therapy called DBT, which is based on this premise - that two apparently opposing ideas can equally be true. We are constantly encouraged as a society to view things in black & white and it just doesn’t reflect the reality of the complex business of life. You are right that people are usually well-meaning but having to try and co-parent for the many years ahead with someone like your ex is often a hell of a lot harder than remaining married to them. I wish you & your girls all the very best.

Another article where the woman is blamed. What is wrong with her son? Why doesn’t he care about the relationship enough to put some effort in? If she really is a manipulative witch, why does he put up with it? My husband cut his mother out of his life, despite my protests. I’m sure she blames me but really just has no idea about how he feels about her.

You are in an abusive marriage. This is domestic violence. He won’t change. And as hard as it is for you - you really do need to start planning to leave. Your son will grow up thinking this is how men treat women and your daughter will grow up believing it is normal to be in a marriage like this. This next bit will be very scary. But there are organisations who can help and perhaps they can also put you in touch with other women who’ve left abusive marriages and hopefully you can draw strength from them. Good luck.

Suggest couples counselling & tell him honestly how you feel. Young kids is always a hard time but if you don’t get on top of it, you will end up divorced. And also terribly lonely, which it sounds like you already are. I have young kids & a husband who works a lot too but he always makes time to talk to me at the end of the day, show interest in me, ask me my opinion on stuff that’s happening for him, tell me he appreciates all I do for the kids, etc. I dont think you are asking too much at all.