@laura__palmer Oh Laura, they more often than not align. Really they do. At birth one only has the genitals to go by, Dr’s rely on them also
@daijobou People read a lot into what others have said. I reared my children the same. Still pleased to have a mixed family. I let them all go with them knowing they can always return, which all of them did at times. I have that belief, if you let them go they come back to you. I would say that is quite true. Whether some like it or not a female kind mother will generally have a very nice friend in her daughter. There are some women who don’t care for this relationship because they are more male kind, often even to the degree of stating they don’t or never did want a girl. I find this very sad and it indicates they are man mad. You know, the type that pretend to like football to impress the men. I say lucky for the girl she wasn’t born to a woman like that. At no stage did the writer or myself reject our boys, quite the contrary. My sons couldn’t have been more loved or guided. Although I share humour with them and talk about real estate investments at length with them and they call for my advice on big decisions they are about to make, I have never had the types of conversations I have had with my daughter. It is just different.
@kayme Have I missed something, what has breastfeeding, successfully or otherwise got to do with this article? The topic is gender disappointment. Breastfeeding is a whole other ball game.
@opacity Well that is just stupid putting all that nonsense onto you, very wrong. As I previously said people are tactless, talk too much and need to think before they speak. My boys never knew my thoughts, they were kept to me, I never shared it. When I was having my girl I knew she was a girl but told no one until she was born. My fear was, they may have made a mistake at the ultrasound and then people might think I was so disappointed that I wouldn’t love the baby and that would never have been the case. I would have just gone on and one day had a fourth. They are all precious, this is not about rejecting any baby.
@jodiepodie20 BUT it could be, with no harm to anyone at all.
@hermione Your advice is quite true. I hope she doesn’t regret her decision when it’s too late, the clock ticks.
@snorks Because they are different, the lifelong relationship is different. Some people want the different relationship. Is that so hard to understand? I knew a woman that had 3 boys, always wallowed in it, always honestly said she didn’t care to have girl. Then after they were fully reared and off doing their thing and she saw my relationship with my girl, she said, now I wish I had had a daughter. She realised the difference.
@reannon Statements like that should never be made infront of the other children, people are tactless. You must have been delighted though to have your baby girl, it’s nice to have a change. It’s no difference in reverse, some have 2 or 3 girls then get a boy, it’s obvious the change is nice.
@SEB For goodness sake, that is even more rare than the ones that have difficulty conceiving. I would say the majority of people stay with the gender they are born with, we do get carried away these days and complicate things. Also, I can vouch that, the wanting of a baby daughter takes nothing away from the sons you have, you can love both easily. No need to feel sorry for the boys.
@hchadwick It is truly a no brainer, I don't understand the problem at all. I investigated it 38 yrs ago, to no avail. I had everything, a nice house on 5 acres, great hubby and parents. Two healthy robust boys. I had no way of organising the one thing I wanted. I don't mind admitting it was an obsession for me. After I got her I was a little in disbelief, that worry was over. One night I had a dream or rather a nightmare, that I changed her nappy and she had turned into a boy.
@hchadwick I think after the pain and experience of childbirth we deserve exactly what we want but nature messes with that. I had an emergency caesarean and whilst I was coming too the nurse said ‘and you had a boy’ I thought that would be right nothing went right today. When I was really awake I asked what I had, she looked at me a bit odd cos she knew she had told me, I was hoping she had made a mistake but she hadn’t, I got the same answer. I had 9lb 10oz of big strong baby boy lol.
@SEB Nope, just gender.
This article is sooooo me I couldn't believe it. The only difference is I had a wonderful mother and she and I had a very close bond my whole life. It has been the worst experience of my life losing my mum, she was just short of 90. I wanted a girl desperately, just like the writer, in my case to continue that special relationship. Had two lovely boys and then won the jackpot. She has been everything I ever wanted in a daughter.People don't understand, wanting the change in gender doesn't mean you don't love and appreciate the other children you have. They are very different boys from girls. People also don't realise that getting pregnant for many is a non event it's only a small percentage of the population that struggle with conceiving. If it isn't a struggle for you, you don't really think about it, that's why contraception is such an issue, some would have huge families with no control. You can't feel guilty for wanting something just because someone else can't get pregnant. Life doesn't work like that. As the writer said the heart wants what it wants.
@hchadwick YOU ARE 100% RIGHT. It’s ridiculous that they control this. Even if it was allowed at the third pregnancy to ensure the other gender to the first two. Absolutely harmless, not hurting anyone. It is wonderful to have both genders with your children. I knew a woman that had 8 boys her 9th was finally a girl.
"To my people, I have always wanted to represent you with pride.
@lizbette I agree with you. I feel I have had tiredness from many sources, I used to say when children made me tired I felt like I was back on nightshift, as that was always a challenge for me, night is for sleeping, that simple lol. Then horrible Menopause, causing insomnia, dreadful, I was always such a good sleeper. I feel for people who suffer that their whole life, it is horrible, so frustrating. You are tired and don’t sleep.
The writer is right. I have been a mother to 3 children and sometimes absolutely exhausted but no more exhausted than in my job before children, as a policewoman, doing shift work and very extended hours. Sometimes I was like a zombie. Still trying to function. Then many years later, children grown, I cared for my two gorgeous elderly parents. Again I was exhausted. There are many demands on us and mothers don’t have the total ownership on ‘tired’. Also, as a person below mentioned, it’s not pitting women against women as a lot of men have demands too. My husband (plainclothes cop) would go to work on surveillance and knock off 3 days later. Some men also care for their elderly. I realise women are more inclined to be the carers of everyone but tired is tired, the source of the tiredness is really irrelevant.
@jay Excellent advice, then they will know what it is like to be a landlord. I could write a book on grotty uncaring tenants. Not all are but unfortunately a lot are. Bunk beds and they allow the children to draw on the ceiling. Because paying rent is inconvenient they simply stop doing so. I actually wonder why leases are bothered with these days they mean nothing. The tenants can walk away from a lease for virtually no valid reason, they used to be binding legal documents. It happened to my daughter the woman didn’t like the stairs to get into the house, funny it was and still is a 2 storey house. She mounted the stairs to view the house, did she think they were temporary. Absolutely, ridiculous reasons they can walk away from a lease, which can be extremely inconvenient to the owner. My daughter had just had a baby and had to deal with looking for a new tenant. It cuts BOTH ways you know.
Ooommm there are several issues here. Prioritise - all the funds for a dog put towards a deposit and buy your own home. Then when the dog eats half the inside of the laundry door it will be your expense and not the landlord’s. This was just one example of what happened to us and the tenants were hoping we would not notice. The whole door had to be replaced, frame repaired also and all painted. A costly exercise. Landlords are not bottomless pits, all of these interest rate rises have hit them hard. The dog door may have already been in the house prior to the landlord purchasing or they have already had a bad experience. At the end of the day the house is owned by them and the buck stops with them. If you can’t abide following rules, own what you live in. It is that simple. It has never been easy. You work, you save and go without, to get there. Look for a simple basic dwelling as your first home, no home theatre or 3 car garage. It’s not rocket science.
Sorry, I was never a fan of him. I didn’t think he was funny at all. He once made a disparaging comment about women, so that finished me. It was through the era we were fighting so hard to be recognised, a fight that should never have been necessary but it certainly was. He had a crude humour often.