Wow this was my life, except for the affair. Nothing I could ever do was right. I was always told that the kitchen was clean enough , the house wasn't clean enough, I didn't do a good enough job at anything  and that was the reason he didn't take me out for dinner etc. If he was cooking he would ask me what I wanted out of two options , he would always cook the other one to what I suggested. This was because he said I was entitled and I didn't deserve to get what I wanted, I didn't deserve holidays , clothes etc.  I used to feel sick in the stomach hearing his car pull up . I didn't think financially  I could do it on my own. I planned for 3 years to kick him out, forced a holiday so I could get passports for the kids as I knew he would never sign them later. I have never been happier, I fought 3 years in court as he expected 50/50 though I have the 4 kids 100 percent. I got a better job started a side business and got the house loan myself. I have never been happier. When you have 4 kids under 6 you really think you are hopeless ! But your not!