It turns out there really are no presents out there for men.

A simple question from a Mamamia Podcast listener, Maeve, has pretty much nailed this current Christmas conundrum.

Hope you can help, she wrote.

What do I buy the men in my life for Christmas? Dad is 60 and grumpy. Brother is 30 and grumpy. Boyfriend is 24 and acts 14. I’m tired of thinking about it. Is it wrong to give cash in a sock?

Oh, MAEVE.

via GIPHY

It’s hard buying for grumpy men. What made them so grumpy in the first place? Did you give them cash in a sock last year, except it was a $2 coin presented in a used, sweaty sports sock and they haven’t forgiven you?

What is the key to unlocking a frosty man’s heart, to buying the perfect item that all men want but never told us about?

So I took it to the panel on Mamamia Out Loud. They’re smart women, I thought. They have a wealth of life experience including time spent with various men.

But I’m sorry Maeve, the news is not good.

Listen to Mamamia Out Loud argue about what is a good gift for men this Christmas:

We called upon the highest, most sensible man-gift buyer in the office, Jackie Lunn.

Charged with gifting for husbands, brothers, nephews and fathers,  she gave the following suggestions:

• A food processor.  It has an engine, she reasoned.
• A stick blender. It’s good that they cook, she said.  Let’s keep the encouragement going with a big stick.
• An Atlas. It goes back to their roots, she said. Like Christopher Columbus.
• Wall Art. Because men love to walk into a room, purse their lips and say “You know what would bring this room alive…?”

So, yeah. Thus proving we have no idea, either Maeve.

So we're crowdsourcing on the facebook page:

HELP THE SISTERHOOD. LEAVE AMAZEBALLS SUGGESTIONS HERE

Bring the ideas forth, people. What's worked for you? Did you nail it one year? Can we steal your idea?

I quite enjoyed Holly Wainwright's suggestion of a magazine subscription, but Mia Freedman thinks that's the beginning of the end and perhaps she should re-evaluate her entire relationship and subsequent life choices.

At this stage, cash in a sock is winning, Maeve. Just make it cash in a *new sock you haven't worn yet.

The full episode of Mamamia Out Loud is here. It's the weekly show with what women are talking about. Listen here: