The no BS version of pregnancy.

What no one tells you.

For some reason, people don’t talk about pregnancy. I mean, really talk. Like all the truthful stuff.

Instead, they gloss over it and maybe mention one or two things and you’re like, great, I’m going to get bigger boobs and be all glowy. Which you probably will. But that is not all that there is in pregnancy.

I don’t believe people are trying to be malicious or hide anything. I honestly feel people forget. If you asked me 10 weeks ago what I thought of morning sickness…you would’ve received a two hour lecture. Today, at 19 weeks, you’d get, “yeah, it’s pretty bad”.

So…before anyone forgets I have compiled a list of everything that really truly happens while you are pregnant from my experiences and that of my colleagues.

Warning: if you want to be naive about your pregnancy, don’t go any further.

First trimester.

1. If you get morning sickness, you will quickly learn it isn’t just for mornings. And it isn’t just for first trimesters. Sorry.

2. Even if you have hiked Mount Everest in one go, run a marathon after, and stayed awake for 5 days straight, you will never feel as exhausted as you will feel in the first trimester. Growing a baby is hard work.

3. Everyone says that your boobs will be sore like they are before you get a period. These people have never been pregnant. Your boobs will hurt like hell. Wearing a bra will feel like you are sand-papering your nipples. Growing bigger boobs is hard work.

4. If you fell pregnant easily or quickly, you will feel incredibly guilty and hate telling people how easy it was for you.

5. You will have no idea what the hell you are doing. It's okay. Nobody does. Except your obstetrician and midwife.

Second trimester.

6. You will glow. Which is a nice way to say you will become incredibly oily. And with oil comes pimples.

7. Even if you were once gassy, you will be even more gassy. You will fart and burp like it's your full time job.

8. Even though you are in the second trimester and technically have less chance of miscarrying, you will worry about it every single day.

9. Baby brain is real. Anyone who tells you otherwise has never been pregnant or is a man. They are liars.

10. You will feel your uterus and muscles stretching near your pubic area. You will want to rub it to ease the pain. You will look like you are rubbing your...

11. People will go a little psycho around you. People will either want to be pregnant with you (not always possible) or be jealous about your pregnancy (not very nice).

12. Random relatives who barely wish you Happy Birthday every year will want a daily update on your pregnancy.

13. Never run out of carbs. Carbs get you through your pregnancy. Carbs are your best friend.

14. You will eat and drink things you technically shouldn't. Like poached eggs.

15. You will realise there is only so much you can control about your pregnancy. Your dreams of eating a healthy diet 24/7 will become less realistic. Don't beat yourself up about it.

16. People will not always be happy about the decisions you make. Like finding out the gender of your baby (why spoil the surprise) or deciding not to find out (that makes buying presents for the baby harder).

17. People will buy the baby presents. Lots of presents. You may use them. Or you may donate them to charity.

18. You will freak out regularly. This is normal. You will freak about everything. This is normal.

Watch Editor-in-Chief, Jamila Rizvi, talk about the five things that happens during pregnancy that nobody tells you about. Post continues after the video...

Third trimester.

19. Heart burn is a bitch.

20. Don't feel guilty about taking time off before you're due - you need time too.

21. Don't have a perfect vision of how the birth will go, because you may end up being disappointed.

22. You will think you are in labour five times before you are actually in labour.

23. Labour sounds scary until you get to the final month where you would literally do ANYTHING to have the baby outside your body.

Birth.

24. Labour is probably only going to be 24 hours. You will get through it.

25. If you have a C-Section, get moving as soon as you can. The sooner you move, the easier recovery will be.

26. It's okay to be scared of tearing. But when it happens, you probably won't actually notice because so much else will be going on.

27. If you have an "easy" birth, not everyone will want to hear about it.

28. Take the stool softener they offer you after birth...

The most important thing to know about pregnancy...

29. DON'T LISTEN TO ALL THE DAMN ADVICE YOU WILL GET.

Did I leave anything out? What's the one thing you would tell someone who asked, what is pregnancy really like?

CLICK THROUGH the gallery for everything happening from Week 1 to Week 18 in your pregnancy.

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