After struggling with PND and PTSD, mother of two, Susanna Shirtcliffe urges others to seek help if they need it.
It can be tough for mothers on Mother’s Day – many new mums already feel they have failed at the job.
Around one in seven expecting or new mums in Australia are affected by perinatal anxiety or depression every year, according to Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia (PANDA).
Mother of two Susanna Shirtcliffe says was “mentally and physically broken” after giving birth to her first child.
After a painful 40-hour posterior labour, the fit yoga teacher was left nervous, wired, and “dangerously exhausted”.
The 34-year-old left hospital in a “very ordinary state” with a great deal of physical pain and felt unequipped to care for her son.
Susanna Shirtcliffe with her now three-year-old son. Image supplied.
My son had reflux.
"My son was a very unsettled baby who cried for long periods and didn’t want to be held close. I couldn’t comfort him and I couldn’t settle him," she said.
By the time the new mum and her husband found out their baby had reflux, she was "an absolute wreck".
"I felt like I was swimming in a deep sea of molasses which was slowly drowning me. I didn’t confide my feelings to anyone at the time, although I cried a lot and was constantly snapping," she said.
Despite trying to justify her feelings as hormones and fatigue, Shirtcliffe knew deep down that "something wasn't right".
"I was failing at my job as a mum."
"I was very anxious, I couldn’t sit down for more than two seconds even if I had the opportunity. I couldn’t sleep. I rarely left the house because I was too scared that Zeph was going to cry all the time.
"You think you need to be bullet-proof and strong and I felt that I was failing at my job of being a mum. I probably ended up falling apart a lot harder than I would have if I got the right help sooner."
The battle went on for ten months before someone noticed she needed help.
Seeking help.
"In the end, it was actually my family and my friends who noticed that I was really struggling. My mum came and collected me and took me to my local GP and I was immediately seen by a psychologist and from there.
"That’s when the real work started. I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as well as Post Natal Depression – a double whammy."
The new mum then moved in with her mum for a week and got the chance to rest.
"I felt much better even just after a week of admitting – not defeat – but surrendering to it. It was probably a few months before I started feeling like myself again and being able to function without having an extra set of hands to help."
Susanna Shirtcliffe got back on her feet after getting some help. Image supplied.
'Don't suffer in silence.'
The 37-year-old says sharing her worries helped her get back on track and she's keen to encourage others to seek help.
"Mental illness is not a reflection of your capability to mother, it does not discriminate who it affects and can happen to anyone of us. There is no need to suffer in silence, and there is no shame in admitting you are feeling overwhelmed," she said.
There may be some added pressure on new mums this Mother's Day because celebrating motherhood can be a trigger for some.
"Mother's Day can be tough for those with perinatal anxiety and or depression because it appears everyone else is celebrating and thriving in motherhood,” said PANDA boss Terri Smith.
"Mother’s Day is a timely reminder to check in with new parents ask how they are coping with the demands of becoming a new parent. Parenthood can be a wonderful experience but it can also come with unexpected challenges,” she said.
Susanna Shirtcliffe is now happy and well and maintains her treatment and speaking to a psychologist every now and then.
"You’re being the best mum you can be if you do talk about it," she said.
If you are worried about your partner, family member or friend, encourage them to phone the PANDA Helpline (1300 726 306).
In this video Mia Freedman shares how she handles her anxiety.
Top Comments
Oh, a 40 hour posterior labour is no joke, I'm not surprised she left hospital feeling 'fairly ordinary'.
Keeping the baby with their back to your front, or encouraging them into that position when still pregnant is something that all women should be educated about antenatally, it can be vital to prevent the feelings this woman left the hospital with. My heart truly goes out to this woman.
The figure one in seven is what is reported and diagnosed. Expert suspect the real figure is much higher. I was diagnosed with PND when my daughter was 10-weeks-old. She's now 4 and I'm still on anti-depressants. To be honest, I don't care if I'm on them forever. They, along with a wonderful husband, family and friends saved me. Yes, it was that bad. Mothers (and fathers - dads can get PND too) please seek help if you think something is wrong. Trust your gut instinct. If you don't think it's 'just hormones' don't let anyone else convince you that it is. See your local GP, your OB or your child maternal health nurse. There is no shame asking for help. Beyond Blue also has some great information so look them up online. Also don't discount your mothers' group - often below the red lippy is just another mum struggling just like you and letting your guard down can help you connect with some of the most wonderful women you will ever meet. At least that has been my experience.