By Cassie White.
How often have you been told to “look on the bright side” or “focus on the good things” when times are tough?
It can feel as though every self-help book, TV show and family member wants you to stop feeling sad, angry or depressed, and find the silver lining in every difficult situation.
Proponents of positive thinking would have us believe it is one of the best ways to boost self-esteem, find happiness and even prevent some mental illnesses, such as depression.
But just how effective is it?
Associate Professor Anthony Grant from the University of Sydney says the term “positive thinking” has been poorly defined and is often misunderstood.
For many people, it means saying daily affirmations, focusing on the good in every situation and putting on a happy face, even when it is the last thing we feel like doing.
But Associate Professor Grant warns that trying to be permanently optimistic about life is highly unrealistic – and generally makes you worse off in the long run.
“It just doesn’t work. When people don’t allow themselves to think about problems or sadness or any other emotion apart from happiness, it’s not helpful at all,” he said.
“In difficult periods in your life, you need to allow yourself to grieve and have a whole range of emotions, because that’s part of the natural healing process.”
A 2009 study found positive self-statements only improved mood and wellbeing in people who already had high self-esteem, but in people with low self-esteem it had the opposite effect.
“Essentially, they knew they were lying to themselves,” Associate Professor Grant says.
“So the paradox of positive thinking is that it works, but only for the people who don’t really need it.”
Optimism ‘with its eyes wide open’
One popular aspect of so-called positive thinking is the belief that whatever we think manifests in our lives, but Associate Professor Grant says that is “clearly not the case”.
“The notion that we create reality through our thinking is just wrong,” he says.
“The mindset we have and how we use our thinking capacity has a big impact on how we experience the world. But there are lots of things that happen that are completely outside our control.”
Psychologist Suzy Green, from The Positivity Institute, warns that seeing the world only through “rose-coloured glasses” can be dangerous.
She says it could be especially so in high-risk situations such as severe illness, where people can potentially be in denial about the outcome and not seek the assistance needed.
Dr Green says she is a proponent of “realistic optimism“, which she describes as “optimism with its eyes wide open”.
“It’s maintaining a realistic, optimistic, mindset in the face of challenges, whereby you’re drawing on your strengths and capacities and working through the situation more optimistically than pessimistically,” she says.
“It would be saying to yourself, ‘Okay, these things could go wrong, but this is what I’ll do if that’s the case’. You’ll have a plan in place and start focusing on the evidence as to why things could turn out right rather than wrong.”
Dr Green says it is normal to have negative thoughts in challenging situations or outside your comfort zone, and that trying to deny these thoughts is generally unproductive.
“With realistic optimism, it’s not that you don’t have those negative thoughts. You just don’t always buy into them and sometimes decide to think differently and more optimistically about the situation,” she explains.
“You’re looking for evidence that you can achieve things or get through difficult times.”
‘Attention bias’ affects automatic thought patterns
Challenging your thoughts means monitoring them and asking yourself how helpful they are to you.
Associate Professor Grant explains that we all have automatic thought processes, otherwise known as attention bias.
Anxious people, for example, tend to automatically focus on the negative or threatening aspects of a situation, but Associate Professor Grant says it is possible to change these thought patterns to refocus on things that make you happier.
“It’s not a case of switching your attention to the positive and just keeping it there, it’s being able to constructively reflect on your thinking style and knowing when to shift it,” he said.
Dr Green says research has shown optimistic and hopeful people are mentally and physically healthier.
“They have higher levels of goal attainment and general wellbeing, because they have a belief that there’s another way, so engage in activities that are helpful,” she says.
However, she cautions against practising optimism when the outlook for a specific situation is grim, to avoid creating false hope.
“In high-risk situations, it’s better to engage in defensive pessimism, which is where you look at the worst-case scenario but in a defensive way,” she says.
“So you ask yourself, ‘How will I deal with it when it happens and what’s the process I’ll take along the way, given there’s a good chance this won’t turn out well?'”
Goal setting an effective way to improve mental health
Associate Professor Grant says setting meaningful goals and working towards them is one of the best ways to change your attention bias and improve mental health.
“Find out what sort of goal you want to achieve,” he says.
“Then ask yourself what sort of thoughts, feelings and behaviours you need to have in order for you to reach that goal. How would you structure or change your environment to reach that goal?
“That’s a much more useful way to think about your thinking than whether it’s positive or negative.”
He also recommends writing a list of everything you are grateful for each day – even if those things are small.
“It’s just taking time at the end of the day to appreciate what you do have,” he says.
“It’s not to say bad things won’t happen or you need to interpret every bad thing as a positive experience in some way.
“Writing about those experiences just helps people get more control over how they’re feeling.”
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This post originally appeared on ABC News.