'This is not what I wanted to be writing today, but here we are.'

Okay, this isn't a story you'll want to read if you're eating, have just eaten, or plan to eat in the foreseeable future.

This is a poo story. This happens to be my least favourite kind of story. But I'm not always in charge of the articles I write… so here we are.

I've always hated toilet humour but in cases like this, all you can do is laugh.

According to a woman on TikTok, people are pooing on the streets of Bondi. I sh*t you not.

How does she know this? She reckons her two dogs are eating this human poo that apparently lines the streets of Sydney's most affluent suburb.

As I said, please don't read this story on a full stomach. Or if you believe in the good of humanity.

Julia Sakr (@julia.sakr) shared a rant on TikTok which took some real unexpected twists and turns.

"I wanna talk about Bondi sh*tters," she began (as if this was a perfectly normal thing to say).

"People who have been walking around Bondi and just taking a dump in multiple places," she continued.

"I've never encountered the amount of human sh*t that I have in Bondi."

@julia.sakr

Probably best not to watch this if youre having dinner 🥴 #bondi #bondishitter #public

♬ original sound - Julia Sakr

She shared a photo of one of her dogs covered in poo that she claims came from a human, moaning about how much her dogs "make a bee line to it" which she said for them must taste like a "delicacy".

Honestly, I may never recover from typing out that last sentence. I feel positively unwell.

She went on to say she often found human poo in the gutter, assuming that the culprits use the curb as a "little seat to sit on", noting that the alleged pooers select "very ergonomic spots".

Julia is gung-ho about getting to the bottom of this.

"What I wanna know is why are there so many sh*tters in Bondi? It's a serious question, like, is everyone… so healthy and they go on runs, and then they need to do a sh*t, so they just do it where they are?" she quite rightly pondered.

"Secondly, if that's the case, are you just walking around with sh*t between your butt cheeks, you haven't even wiped, and you obviously haven't washed your bum either. Like come on people, that's disgusting."

She's not wrong.

This is giving serious flashback to the 'poo jogger' discourse which took hold of 2018. Six years ago, residents of an apartment block in Brisbane bandied together to unmask a neighbourhood 'poo jogger'.

Then in 2019, another jogger was filmed finishing off her run by squatting in the streets of Paddington in Sydney. I guess you could say, she was pooped (I'm sorry, writing this has changed me).

Watch the video on The Project. Post continues after video.

In response to the TikTok, many Bondi locals confirmed Julia's suspicions.

"I promise you this has always been a Bondi thing, even when I was a kid. [It's] why I left Bondi an adult," one wrote.

"Must be all the early morning fitness freaks. There are no shops open and no public toilets," another added.

Many noted this was something seemingly common in running communities.

"I have caught two people in Bondi doing this, both were runners," one comment read.

"The urge can come on powerfully and without warning when running. I get the same thing on the elliptical but fortunately, it's at home, three metres from the toilet."

So there you go!

Joggers are allegedly pooing on the streets of Bondi like it's no biggie and I'm going to be giving myself an internet detox for 2-4 working days.

Feature image: TikTok/@julia.sakr/Hot Ones.