We go behind the scenes of Married at First sight. Sort of.
Holding out for “The One”?
Just stop. Because they don’t exist.
That’s the opinion of Sabina Read, the psychologist who works on the breakout Channel 9 hit Marriage At First Sight. Mamamia Out Loud spoke to her this week. And when I say Mamamia Out Loud, I actually mean just me. #obsessed.
I had SO many questions. What were the contestants like? How much science went into it? Were there any dickheads on the show? (answer: no):
Read says the idea of ‘the one’ is nothing more than fairytale perpetuated by Hollywood. And it’s time we embraced relationships for what they actually are: complicated, ever changing, and actually often nothing like how they start out.
Talking about what went on behind the scenes of Marriage At First Sight, she says when she was first asked to be part of the show, she said no. “I thought that the idea of arranging someone else’s marriage seemed like a bad idea,” she said. But as she researched it, she realised there was much more to it.
It wasn’t a cheap reality show, it was a vital social experiment. Applicants were trailed for days, months, their lives, hopes, beliefs, values forensically scrutinised. The big questions were delved into. And at the end of the day, it was hopeful people looking for love.
The problem, Read says, is that people typically never ask the questions they should at the beginning of relationships. The way we get together with partners is we’re attracted to something we see. We smooth over the bigger details and we minimise the important stuff.
Top Comments
So there isn't the "one", how does she know? Being a psychologist doesn't give her authority on the different types of love people feel, plenty of people have told me their partner was the "one" for them, others have a different path to love, they are all valid experiences.
As for "unimportant" things like looks, how do we know they are unimportant? Science still hasn't totally figured out the chemistry of love, so for all we know when someone finds someone else attractive maybe it's their subconscious telling them that person face shape indicates that genetically they would be the perfect match. There has been some studies that suggest genetically compatible people (eg together have the right combination of genes to produce a healthy baby) like each other's smell. Of course for all I know there are studies to dispute all these things too, but the point is just because this lady has a degree doesn't mean she is an expert on the mysteries of love.
As for arranged marriages lasting longer, that may be true but that's because it can be difficult to divorce in those countries or disapproved of, doesn't necessarily mean people are happy, I know of people who have arranged marriages who are miserable but won't divorce because it's not acceptable in their culture.
Haven't seen the show but yeah I'm sure it's very classy!