real life

A story that will force you to consider who'll look after you, when you can’t.

NSW Government
Thanks to our brand partner, NSW Government

 

Kim was your average 22-year-old woman six months ago, but a lot has changed in that short amount of time.

Last year her mother, Anne, was in a horrific car accident, sustaining multiple fractures and breaks throughout her body, the most catastrophic of which was to her head. She could no longer walk or talk and her doctors said she would likely be in this limited state for the rest of her life.

Without an appointed Enduring Guardian for her mother, the hospital attempted to come to an agreement about Anne’s future care with all involved by calling a family meeting.

Kim’s dad and his new partner Alice were present. Kim didn’t know why Alice had a place in the room; she had only been in her father’s life for nine months. But nonetheless, her mother’s future was being discussed, without her voice, in a room full of strangers.

Kim was distraught.

We spoke to her about how her mum’s accident has changed both their lives.

She says her mum is no longer the parent that Kim had been fortunate enough to know for 22 years. According to Kim, her mum was funny, energetic, and beloved by all: “She was known as the ‘queen sweet-pea’ in her neighbourhood.”

planning ahead
“Kim was distraught.” Image via iStock.
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Kim says that she had a strong bond with her mum; despite not living together they talked every day. They were even closer since her parents separated 18 months before.

Anne’s doctors recommended that she be moved to a facility where she could receive 24-hour nursing care –  the only way to pay for this step was to sell the family home.

Kim says she was wholeheartedly against this decision, instead wanting her mum to return to the home that she loved, the house that she’d made a home.

“My mum does not belong in a nursing home. She is only 53.”

Kim decided that she would move back in with her mum and care for her, but it wasn’t as simple as that. Anne’s doctors needed know who had the Power of Attorney? Was it Enduring? Did they also have an Enduring Guardian in place?

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Kim says she had never heard of these documents, let alone discussed any of them with her mum.

Wasn’t it enough that she was her daughter and she knew what her mum would want?

planning ahead
Why was Kim left out of the decision-making process? Image via iStock.

She says she knew her mum had a good amount of superannuation funds that surely could be used for her care, but with no Power of Attorney appointed to make decisions about her house and assets or how money should be spent on care, the meeting stalled – particularly since her dad did not agree with her suggestions, instead believing that a nursing home was the best option.

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Kim was convinced that he wasn’t looking out for Anne’s best interests given the fact that her parents had been trying to informally negotiate the ownership of the family home for the last 12 months: her dad wanted to sell, but her mum did not.

The family couldn’t come to an agreement and because of this they would need to make an application to the Guardianship Division of the NSW Civil and Administrative Tribunal. Kim called the free and confidential Information Support Line at the Public Guardian, who were able to explain to her why the doctors were making an application to the Tribunal and what was likely to be considered during the proceedings.

She says they explained that the Tribunal would, of course, try and appoint a family member to make financial, health and lifestyle decisions for her mother but if there was family conflict, they may consider appointing a government agency as a substitute decision maker.

planning ahead
“If there was family conflict, they may consider appointing a government agency as a substitute decision maker.” Image via iStock.
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Kim says she knew that her mother would have wanted her to make these decisions, but as her mother no longer has legal capacity to appoint a guardian, this process was unfortunately (and legally) necessary.

“My mum would be so sad if she knew what was happening to her, to us. She was so independent. She is so young. I guess that’s why she never thought about planning ahead for a situation like this.”

While most people would consider putting a will together, not many people talk the talk and ask the tough questions. Appointing an Enduring Power of Attorney to make financial decisions and an Enduring Guardian to make health and lifestyle decisions, ensures that your family can focus on legally putting your wishes and preferences into action in the unfortunate situation that you are no longer able to.

How have you planned ahead?