'Dear Pixie Curtis: Please stop setting the birthday party bar so high.'

Listen to this story being read by Laura Jackel, here.

In case you missed it, Pixie Curtis, daughter of PR guru, Roxy Jacenko, turned 11 over the weekend and had a neon disco-themed birthday party for 45 friends that is rumoured to have cost $40,000.

There was a mocktail bar, live DJ, personalised 'Pixie' neon signage, made-to-order pizza, a fire-breathing performance artist, and a dance floor that could be mistaken for Studio 54. 

The Instagram stories being shared by Pixie and friends include 360 photo booth clips and selfies of eleven-year-olds striking a pose while wearing themed outfits and accessories like cowboy hats and corsets.

Pixie and friends at her neon disco themed 11th birthday. Image: Instagram @pixiecurtis

According to Jacenko, Pixie picked up the tab for the exclusive event herself, thanks to her growing toy store empire.

“It was meaningful as it was a celebration of not only turning 11 but the incredible success of her online toy store, which she came up with during COVID,” she told news.com.au.

It all looked like beautiful, sparkly fun and honestly I feel quite... jealous? My 40th party a couple of years ago was also disco-themed and not even close on the glamour stakes. 

Dozens of hours of work by teams of people must have gone into the planning and execution of such a stylish party. Neon theming aside, did I mention Pixie's event included a personal hairdresser doing live hair art, a giant mirror selfie wall, cut-out zebras and VIP lanyards? Christine Quinn is taking notes. 

Making TikToks at Pixie's party. Image: Instagram @pixiecurtis

Yes, most Aussies can only dream of having a spare $40,000 to spend on a one-off event as fabulous as this.

But Pixie is not 'most people', and nor are the Kardashian kids and other mini celebs that host these upscale parties that were once reserved for adults or corporations. 

Who could forget Kylie Jenner's daughter Stormi and her second birthday party? It featured a giant (nightmarish?) inflatable Stormi head guests walked through to reach carnival rides and entertainment. There was even a gift shop, making it more like Disney World than a straight up party. 

In times gone by, Mariah Carey or Elton John were the ones holding big OTT events like this, but now that even two-year-olds are having such spectacles, where does this leave the rest of us? 

I remember enviously watching my parents on the VERY rare occasion they went to a work Christmas party. They would get dressed up and get a photo and then regale us girls the next day about the fine food and bougie entertainment. 

Somewhere along the line, and most likely because of the visual nature of social media, lines have blurred and kids' parties have taken on more and more elements that were previously reserved for the world of grownups.

In the 80s and 90s and early 00s, kids' parties were a whole different ballgame. 

It was all about the overload of sugar, playing games like 'musical chairs' or 'pass the parcel' and as we got older, dancing to mixtapes in a new party outfit. The fun was in the silly banter, the cake and the music. Parents served us fizzy drinks in plastic cups and food was always buffet style: mini sandwiches, sausage rolls and a selection of chips.

There was no caterer, theming, or personal hair artists to restyle our limp and sweaty side ponytails. 

No spa days or sleepovers with matching canvas tents strewn in tasteful fairy lights and filled with pastel cushions. No entertainment (unless you count that one kid who had a magician one time) and no event photographer or selfie booths. 

Parents and grandparents were on hand to help run the show and monitor proceedings. In our house, my mum was on food and dad was on the party games and music. It was all very low-key and simple, yet memories of my childhood birthday parties are wonderful.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by ROXY JACENKO (@roxyjacenko)

But that was then, and this is now. 

Times have changed and kids' parties are (for some) not what they once were. 

Thanks to social media, we are all aware of what our friends, neighbours and favourite celebrities are doing to celebrate birthdays year on year. What started out as changing the way we marry and party as adults (think instagrammable table decorations and selfie walls), has morphed into how some parents celebrate their childrens' birthdays.

A certain aesthetic that began with the rich and famous has gradually seeped into our lives, with big chain stores selling pastel table decorations and themed balloons that have elevated the way we do events on almost every budget. Kids parties included.

But does that mean just because we can make it look Insta-perfect, we always should?

After years of lockdowns and missing out on so much of the good times, no one is denying an 11-year-old the right to have a fun party that looks amazing. Certainly not me. 

But here's the thing: while Jacenko can likely keep up this level of awesomeness for daughter Pixie year after year (I can't wait to see what she does for her 12th, 13th and even 18th birthday), not everyone can.

The Jacenko / Curtis clan celebrating Pixie's 11th birthday. Image: Instagram @roxyjacenko

Some kids will see Pixie's aspirational celebration pics on their feeds and pitch to their parents for a 360 selfie booth and mocktail bar at their next party. For most families on average incomes, this is clearly unattainable. Especially if you have more than one child with high hopes and big dreams. 

We're currently planning my son's 12th birthday, but parties in 2022 are an expensive business.

Last year we were stuck in lockdown, but when he turned 10 in 2020, we had an outdoor soccer skills party for a handful of his mates. We ordered Domino's pizza to arrive at the end, and there were also cupcakes to take away. This year we are doing laser tag and pizza and he couldn't be happier.

He is not on social media however and doesn't yet have a phone, and so we'll have to see what influence the celebrity kids like Pixie have on him in years to come. 

I reckon he would love a made-to-order pizza bar instead of a Domino's delivery, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him.

For anyone planning a tween or teen party - I feel you. 

The party bar is high and only getting higher. Us parents just have to do what we can for our kids on our individual budgets while maybe saving some cash aside for our own fun. I'm already taking notes from Pixie for my 50th in 2029. 

Laura Jackel is Mamamia's Family Writer. For links to her articles and to see photos of her outfits and kids, follow her on Instagram and TikTok.

Feature Image: Instagram @roxyjacenko