Why "phubbing" could be causing problems in your relationship.

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Whipped out during lapses in conversation, the moments before you fall asleep, or even immediately after sex, it may seem like an innocent enough action but a new study suggests snubbing your partner to look at your phone is having a serious impact on your relationship – and their wellbeing.

Dubbed “Phubbing” (phone + snubbing), in study published in the journal Computers in Human Behaviour, researchers from Texas’ Baylor University conducted two surveys of 453 US adults to examine the relational effects of phubbing on relationship satisfaction.

“What we discovered was that when someone perceived that their partner phubbed them, this created conflict and led to lower levels of reported relationship satisfaction. These lower levels of relationship satisfaction, in turn, led to lower levels of life satisfaction and, ultimately, higher levels of depression,” said co-researcher Professor James A. Roberts.

Of the 145 adults who completed the second survey, 22 per cent of respondents said phubbing had led to conflict in their relationships, while 36 per cent reported feeling depressed at least some of the time.

And while checking your phone every now and then may not seem like a big deal, it’s sending a significant message to your partner. (Post continues after gallery.)

“When we ‘phub’ someone, we are saying ‘You are not as important as what is going on on my phone’ and placing that person second to an inanimate object,” says family therapist Dr Karen Phillip.

It also takes away time that should be spent discussing your day and spending quality time together, which is essential for a relationship to continue and grow.

“Most couples will only see each other first thing in the morning and for a few hours at night, so time is precious. You don’t want to be forced to share that precious time with inanimate objects or with people outside of your relationship,” she says.

However attacking your partner over the issue will only cause more conflict. Dr Phillip recommends bringing up the problem respectfully and without judgement, particularly because often they may be completely unaware of how it is affecting you.

"It's a matter of letting them know that this is important by saying 'Could we discuss something?' and doing it quite subtly. By letting the person know how it's affecting you, you can try and find the solution and correct it," she says.

Possible solutions include setting clear boundaries for phone use when you're together. If someone has to work and is expected to be on 24-hour call that's one thing, but for leisure time there are plenty of compromises.

"If you're out to dinner or watching TV, try putting the phone in another room and leaving it for a set period of time so you can concentrate on giving your partner the time they deserve," she says.

Do you find your phone getting in the way of your relationship?