Something has been really bugging me lately.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a pet lover. I love my dog and my cat. I lavish them with attention and I’m pretty sure they love me back.
But every time I go on Instagram I’m bombarded with images of dogs and cats with captions such as “Snooky completed my life”, and there Snooky will be, snuggled in her owner’s arms in an image not unlike a new mum holding their baby (human baby) close to their faces for their first photos.
Let’s just get one thing clear. Dogs and cats will in no way prepare you for being a parent. Caring for dogs and cats won’t prepare you for caring for a human child. The love you feel for your dogs and cats is N-O-T-H-I-N-G like the love you will feel for your human child.
Dogs and cats are not children. They’re just not. Motherhood is much, much harder. It seems pretty simple to me.
To all the #dogsofinstagram and #catsofinstagram: Don’t get too comfortable. Most people come to the realisation that their pets haven’t in any way prepared them for parenthood when they actually have a real child. That’s when I go into bat for the pets.
Just because you then have a real child, doesn’t mean you love your dogs and cats less. You still love them, but it’s a human-animal relationship, not a parent-child relationship. Both relationships are valuable, however both relationships are incredibly different. So don’t neglect your pets once you have a baby. They don’t deserve that. They never pretended to be babies. You pretended they were babies.
Next time, buy one of those dolls that poops, wees and starts crying for seemingly no reason. Still not the same as caring for a human baby but much, much closer than a dog or a cat will ever get.
The looks on these dogs faces says it all. They are just as unimpressed with being treated as babies (post continues):
Jenny Halteman from Babble shares my sentiments. She and her husband rescued a dog they named Willie and were regularly told by others that their dog was “good practice” for becoming a parent. She says, “Not knowing any better, I took those words to heart.”
Then her daughter arrived approximately three years later and she came to the abrupt realisation that caring for a dog is nothing like caring for a baby for many reasons, including:
- Dogs don’t wake you up a million times a night;
- Dogs eat the food they are given;
- Her dog waits at the door to be let out before vomiting (mine didn’t, but that’s a story for another time);
- Dogs rarely step on their own crap.
All very true.
Dogs and cats aren’t practice for having kids. Also, pets are not:
- Pets are not a test of your relationship;
- Buying a dog or a cat isn’t a test of your partner’s ability to commit;
- Caring for a dog or a cat isn’t a test of your ability to be responsible.
Pets are beautiful, wonderful, loving additions to our families. They are part of our families. They want to love, and be loved. They deserve to be cared for and they in turn will care for you.
Stop making them into babies. You’ll be in for a rude shock if you do. Dogs have the best life when they are allowed to be dogs (same for cats).
In truth, there is NO WAY to practice being a parent. Even if you regularly babysit a niece or nephew. Granted, that’s a bit better than practicing on a pet because you’ll actually develop some practical skills, but still very, very different from having a baby of your own.
Nothing can prepare you for that.
Top Comments
Whether taking care of a pet equates to taking care of a child squarely depends on the level of care you give your pet. No need for a sitter? Sure, if you think leaving your dog outside alone for hours on end is acceptable. Me? I pay almost $1000.00 a month for doggie day care so he is properly exercised and cared for. Dogs don't wake you up a million times a night? Funny because as a young pup, it was every two hours to pee. And true, I didn't have anything latched on to my nipple. However, I also didn't get to take care of his need from my bed or a recliner. It was downstairs and outside...standing in the cold...every two hours. Which gradually and thankfully got less and less frequent. Until...guess what? Dogs teethe! And it hurts. And they like to have their gums rubbed. And they cry. All...night...long. Now? He is one! Yea! But wait....It's 3am. Immediately prior to this post, I was trying to clean up his vomit from an upset stomach while all 80 pounds of him was trying to get into my lap because he doesn't feel good. He needs constant teaching so he isn't a jerk. He needs constant exercise so he is healthy and well behaved. I bathe him. I brush his teeth....I love that dog more than words can express. BTW...I have kids too. Two of them. With all the fear, frustration, exhaustion and sheer joy that comes with raising humans. And, I love them more than words can express. Are the two loves the same? No. My dog gives me things my humans cannot just as my humans give me things my dog cannot. Is it more difficult raising humans? Sometimes. But, sometimes not. My humans are self-sufficient now. My dog is not. He never will be. He will never make himself a waffle in the morning and drive himself to school. My kids are welcome in hotels, restaurants, airplanes, pretty much anywhere. I went a lot more places when I only had kids but no dog. So...get off your incredibly judgmental and sad parenting soap box ... and go pet your dog. Sounds like he could use a little more of your time, energy and love.
okay point taken, you've had this amazing journey having kids and you feel an annoyance towards people who consider their relationships with their pets as comparable to your personal experience of having children. How about you take a moment to get off that high horse of yours and have a think about the people whose pet-relationships you have just belittled. MANY people can't have children (for a range of different reasons) and their pets are their children, their love for their pets is deep and strong. You may not understand it, but it doesn't make their feelings any less valid. Perhaps you could benefit from a little personal reflection on this?