Chaotic besties Pete Davidson and Machine Gun Kelly continue to do the most, not just in their high-profile relationships but also now... in their underwear.
The twosome, each part of a very in vogue 'hot gal and tattooed bad boy' Hollywood couple, teamed up for a Calvin Klein campaign, and while it was very weird, it worked. We're all talking about it now. Some marketing exec is about to get a raise.
They and their matching hair dos took over the Calvin Klein Instagram account, jumping on an Instagram Live video where they stripped down to their tightey whities, posed for a mock photoshoot and... discussed each other's penis size. Not kidding.
I'm... intrigued. Let's walk through the video.
It all started off pretty tame, with the two talking about their preparation (or lack of) for an ad campaign involving underwear, only to realise the ad was going to be them sitting on a couch, eating popcorn in loungewear.
"I thought they were going to be like 'sexy idiots!'" Pete reflects, "but nah man, we're just idiots."
They then showed each other the poses they'd practised for a classic CK ~sexy~ photoshoot.
I think it's best to let these screenshots do the talking:
They then congratulate each other on their... d*cks, but reflect on how, if this was a ~sexy~ photoshoot, they probably would've stuffed their underwear.
"Nice stuff, by the way," Pete tells his mate. "I get it now. Good for you. Good for you, dog."
"I would've put an extra two socks in there and blew the world's mind," MGK jokes.
I know this is all a bit, but... I sniggered. It's funny, in a 'this lame penis-based humour should've stopped being funny when I turned 25 but it's still a bit of a lol' way.
Then they talk about their penises some more.
"I'm not really a grower or a shower," Pete says. "It's actually the same, small and hard. It's actually a scientific wonder."
Keep in mind this is the man who sparked the Big D*ck Energy (BDE) movement of 2018 after becoming engaged to Ariana Grande after dating for a month. Ah, simpler times.
Back to the video, where the penis chat is wrapping up - for now.
The pair reflect on how choosing them as underwear models would've been a bold choice from CK, and brought in a new audience.
"We could've got all the dirty people to buy underwear," Pete says, and you have to love how well he knows his personal brand. "I don't think any of my fans wear underwear."
MGK concurs.
Despite the lack of underwear currently on display, they say they hope viewers are "soaking in their seats".
"I hope everyone's horny at home," Pete says.
"We really brought the horniness. I mean, we bring the horniness. If you look up 'Machine Gun Kelly' in the dictionary, it says 'horniness'."
"Pete Davidson also has a simile to that," MGK replies. "It's called BDE."
THAT IS NOT A SIMILE. BUT FINE.
Pete says the BDE thing is extremely embarrassing, "but yes, it is true".
Before they wrap things up, the pair take a quick detour into an amateur porn video, with each dropping their pants once again as MGK pours popcorn into Pete's mouth.
And just like that... the very weird, very unorthodox ad wraps up with a crotch shot.
If you've got a spare nine minutes, here's the video in all its 'penis jokes' glory:
So... that happened. Why?
Advertising is weird, and the latest marketing discovery appears to be that sh*tposting on the internet can be lucrative. Ugh! And here I am sh*tposting for free!
Before the Live, the Calvin Klein Instagram page changed its profile picture to a photo of Pete wearing a CK-branded cap and its bio was changed to read "Pete here". The only account it followed was MGK.
Pete - or the brand, I don't even know anymore - then uploaded a photo of him wearing a logo t-shirt captioned: "I got Instagram" (Pete famously abandoned his personal social media accounts a few years ago because it impacted his mental health.)
Mystery? Tick. Intrigue? Tick.
And then the Live began.
It's not actually that weird of a marketing strategy for Calvin Klein. Firstly, these are two of the most talked about stars in the world right now. Their (self-described) 'dirty' look is a big deal. They are dating Megan Fox and Kim Kardashian. It's a whole thing. I definitely expected Travis Barker to jump up from behind that couch at some point to complete the 'tall, skinny tattooed man' trifecta.
Plus, Calvin Klein's whole schtick is controversial ads, and some of their past ones (including sexual innuendo on an image of a 15-year-old Brooke Shields) honestly make these two bros complimenting each other's junk look pretty wholesome.
So... that's it. It's an ad, featuring two dudes the internet reckons are simultaneously idiots and sexy idiots.
Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Writer. For more pop culture takes, sarcasm and... cat content, you can follow her on Instagram.
Feature image: Instagram @calvinklein.
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