Most parents look forward to kids’ bedtimes with relief. Well, not anymore. Good parents don’t sleep, ever.
A new book has put a rocket under the butts of sleeping parents everywhere.
It’s 2am. You’ve just gone back to sleep after tucking your child in after they woke up crying.
FAIL!
It’s 4.32am. You’re fast asleep, dreaming of running down a beach towards your husband (Clive Owen).
FAIL!
The book’s called Twilight Parenting and this new, horrific, parenting style has been proposed by the audacious child psychologist (damn, we have to listen to her!), Suzanne Thomas. The book is called Parenting From Dusk ‘Til Dawn and it suggests that too much sleep is robbing us of valuable parent-child bonding time.
Don’t buy it. You’ll just cry. Let us share the highlights (lowlights) with you:
1. You should: Play with your kids in the middle of the night.
Forget the whole idea of not over-stimulating your children at night so they fall asleep and stay asleep. Instead, wind them up as much as possible by playing a game called Flashlight Scavenger Hunt. This game is best played at 1am when the house is really dark and quiet. Explore your home. There will be lots of giggles and hysteria. Done properly, your children will never sleep again, giving you an extra 12 hours each night to bond with your children.
2. Attempt cooking in the early AM, just like you used to do before having kids and after clubbing.
Yes, parenting peeps, apparently cooking in the middle of the night is a good idea for good parents. You can whip up a batch of cookies and cupcakes! That way, if your children have fallen asleep on the floor after their borderline-insane mother tried to get them to play Flashlight Scavenger Hunt, they'll wake up knowing that instead of sleeping you stayed up baking for them. You love them more!
But be careful about using ovens and open flames if you're really really tired. As Suzanne Thomas says, “I suggest no-bake cookies. Even if you fall asleep while making them there’s no fire risk.”
3. Badger your children with endless questions about things they don't want to talk about.
When children are incredibly tired, they are more likely to fess up to stuff they've done. One of your kids drew with texta on your favourite dress and you weren't able to find out who the culprit was? Save that little talk for 2am. They'll be so shocked, tired and bleary-eyed that they'll confess just so you let them go back to sleep. Sleep deprivation is a proven torture device and is incredibly successful. And while they're up, talk about life, love, anything really.
As Suzanne Thomas says, "Two a.m. is just as good of a time to get to know the mind of your child as 2pm."
4. 3am playdates are fuuun!
Apparently children are like possums, nocturnal. The idea of sleeping at night is a Western phenomenon that we should blatantly disregard, even if the kids have a full day of school the next day. In fact, Suzanne Thomas has organised playdates with OTHER CHILDREN between 2 and 5am. The parents probably misunderstood what she meant by a 'sleep over'. She takes the kids to the park because they are empty! Kids are free to roam at night.
Suzanne Thomas says, “Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it!"
Um, okay.
She continues, "The idea that sleep is the only activity that can occur at night is a Western phenomenon. The parks are empty at night and the children are free to roam.”
Now, Suzanne Thomas has received criticism from pediatricians concerned that she isn't valuing children's and parent's sleeping habits and routines. And if you dig deeper, she does have a point, even though she goes a bit too hard.
Some kids are terrible sleepers, so instead of getting cranky and upset, give your child some special attention with an interesting activity and they'll go back to sleep feeling happy, bonded and loved.
We get that part.
The rest of it? Well, let us know how you go because we here at iVillage LOVE our sleep and will fight for it tooth and nail, even while our daughter are singing Let It Go at the top of their lungs at 5am (Holly and her daughter Matilda) or our sons are wanting to share a dream they've just had at 2am (Jo and her son Philip).
Find out more at the official Twilight Parenting website.
We're dying to know what you think of Twilight Parenting. In fact, can you test it all out tonight and let us know how you go, because we won't be trying it ourselves, for obvious reasons.