I do not have children, but I’m starting to think that I might want to have some in the near future. This seemingly simple realization has caused some surprising changes to the way that I think about parents.
Whenever I’m around my friends and their kids, I hear, “Oh, you’ll understand when you have kids,” a lot. Before, when I would see one of them handing her iPhone to her temper-tantrum throwing toddler I’d think, “Good! Shut that damn kid up so I can finish telling you about running into that girl we went to high school with!” But now I find myself thinking, “When I have kids, they’re not going to stare at a screen all day.” Before, when I would hear a friend telling his little girl she looks pretty, I would think, “I wonder if they make tutu dresses like that in my size.” Now, I smugly think, “If I have a daughter, I’m only going to tell her she’s smart.” I am either growing up, or turning into a smug asshole.
My new frame of mind fits in with this Flo & Frank video. All parents make promises to themselves about how they’re going to raise their children—and all parents end up breaking a lot of those promises. And that’s okay! Hopefully realizing that now will help me to put less pressure on myself when I eventually have kids.
We said we’d never:
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I stuck to most of the things I said I would do.
I said I would never use a pacifier which I didn't, but my daughter started sucking her thumb instead and now I can't get her to stop sucking her thumb.
I use an iPad as the last resort, although I said I wouldn't use one, but in public, I use it mostly for other people's benefit rather than my own (I.e, keeping them entertained on flights).
I never wanted to breastfeed past 12 months and here I am at 18 months still breastfeeding (I just can't kick the habit of the bedtime feed). :((((((