Five reasons why that rewards chart on your fridge is completely useless.

What do you do when family life is spiralling into chaos? Reach for the rewards.

I fell for it.

In fact, I continue to fall for it every single time things in my house get a bit out of control.

Kid needs toilet-training, has started leaving puddles on the floor – STAR CHART.

Kid keeps getting out of bed and into ours at 3am – every night – STAR CHART.

Kid keeps whacking little brother over the head with her breakfast (and it’s a smoothie) – STAR CHART.

The star chart is the tool that makes a parent feel like they are taking back the power.

And if you had to go to shop to get it, choose between all the favoured cartoon characters and hand over actual money for the thing, then hell, it’s definitely going to work, right?

WRONG.

The rewards chart/star chart is a wicked trap, and here is why.

1. It tricks you into rewarding behaviour that should just be, you know, NORMAL.

I start my star chart good intentions with all sorts of serious things that NEED to happen. The toilet stuff, the bedtime stuff. And before I know it, I’m sitting down with my daughter to set her weekly goals and I’m offering chocolate in return for the putting on of shoes and the wearing of pants. You know, stuff that absolutely everyone needs to do, always.

2. The rewards will spiral out of control.

At first a jellybean from the jar on top of the fridge will do it. But by week three you’ve upped the ante to a toy of their choice, and before you know it, will be offering an all-expenses two-week trip to EuroDisney. Just for brushing their teeth.

LISTEN to Holly, Andrew Daddo and Mia Freedman discussing reward charts, school holidays and whether it’s normal for your kids’ teeth to draw blood on the new episode of Mamamia’s parenting podcast, This Glorious Mess.

Listen in iTunes, here, stream the audio file here or get the RSS feed here. Open the Soundcloud link in a new window, here.

3. The chart will come to OWN you.

“Mummy, this morning you said you would give me a star for not killing my brother in his sleep. But you forgot, and now you owe me one, and it’s not fair because I only need one more to get my toy and DON’T YOU LOVE ME ANY MORE MUMMY?” And you can’t remember what you promised, because the morning was one big blur of lunches and uniforms and getting-dressed for work and packing libray bags and art smocks and washing… and WHATEVER – TAKE THE DAMN STAR.

4. You will forget about it.

After the immediate issue is solved. And then there will be Pepper Pig reward chart welded to your fridge, semi-completed, until the fridge breaks and gets left outside for pick-up. Someone will break the door trying to steal the chart.

5. Real life is not full of rewards.

Did you get a chocolate for turning up for work today? Did anyone buy you that top you really want from Witchery because you packed the sandwiches neatly this morning? Will a colourful candy horse appear on your pillow because you brushed your own hair and got your shoes on the right feet this morning? No. SUCK IT UP, kids.

Do rewards charts work for you?

If you’re not sure how to download a podcast Try our easy guide here.

Or this video will take you through, step by step.

A real crowd pleaser

Anyone who’s ever tried getting a family of eight around town knows it can be a circus, which is why we designed the All New Kia Carnival.

Designed with space, practicality and safety in mind, the 8-seat Kia Carnival comes fully built with a 3-point seat belt, providing security and assurance for your children’s safety seats. Blending the driving dynamics of an SUV with the genuine space of an 8-seat van, the Kia Carnival is a truly multi-purpose vehicle.

With the assurance of Australia’s only 7 Year Unlimited Kilometre Warranty it also means no unexpected surprises.

Discover more about the all-new Carnival today and imagine where it could take you at Kia.com.au/Carnival