'You start to parent your parents.' The reality of being in the sandwich generation.

For anyone who is in their 40s to 50s, they would have felt the infamous power switch between them and their parents. 

The sandwich generation is a phrase used to articulate this very stage of life and the messiness of it — your kids and parents being the bread and yourself the filling, squished between all the responsibilities.

You're likely trying to wrangle kids of your own while also caring for your ageing parents, who as the years go on, require more and more assistance. All while you're still working and trying to have a social life. The mental load is real.

For Narelda Jacobs, Alison Brahe-Daddo and Cathrine Mahoney, they know exactly what this feels like.

Watch: 8 toxic things parents say to their children. Post continues below.

Ultimately, it's a stage of life that is inevitable for many of us. 

Ali Daddo explained that a big part of her life lately has been looking after her mum who has had a nasty chest infection and had a minor stroke. Ali said juggling this, along with her dad's health struggles, and then her family life and work life has been a lot. 

"I'm not tired of the caring part, but I am tired of the driving part," Ali said on the 456 Club podcast, noting her mum lives an hour or two away from her. 

"It's all one after another at the moment, the tag-teaming illnesses. One parent starts to get better and then the other gets something. Thank god I've got one of my sisters nearby, they've been amazing."

It's having to be the lead grown-up in the dynamic between her and her parents that is the biggest wake-up call.

Recently, Ali's sister became a power of attorney for her mum (with her mum's consent and request), to help her with decisions. It's scenarios like this where that power switch between parent and child really shifts, Ali noted.

"Until you're actually going through it, it's such a wild, challenging experience to have that time with your parents where their health is really ailing and you're stepping full into the caretaker role and making decisions for them. Sometimes washing them in the shower, changing their underwear — there's no preparation for that," she said. 

"We're all sort of in a bit of a muddle at the moment, working our way through it very slowly."

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For author/podcast host Cathrine Mahoney, she too understands the realities of this awkward phase of life.

"When you're little your parents are your entire world — then you grow up. All of a sudden there's a power switch, sometimes sooner than you think, you're parenting your parents."

Cathrine has a teenage son, and her parents — who are in their 70s — live back in the UK where she is originally from. Fortunately, her sister is still over there, meaning their parents have a helping hand available if needed. But for Cathrine, there is a level of anxiety starting to slowly grow.

"I'm starting to notice that they're ageing. It's going to be about communication, especially because for us two of the three siblings live in Australia," she explained. 

Listen to this conversation in full on Mamamia's 456 Club podcast. Post continues after audio.

TV presenter Narelda Jacobs says it's something she can relate to. Narelda's father died four years ago at the age of 76. He lived with a lot of health issues, Narelda saying it was really tough to watch him go through that.

Currently, Narelda lives far away from her mother, who is 81 and lives in Perth. 

"I'm in Sydney and every time I go home and see her there are ailments that added to a bit of a list. Every time I speak to my mum I have to make time to hear all about what she's going through at the moment," she explained on the podcast. 

It's not that Narelda's mother or anyone of that generation complains really. Rather, Narelda said it's important to keep stock of what's going on and keeping an eye on them.

"That's why I really have to press her and ask if she's okay."

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"It can be an emotional and stressful time. This is the time to lean into the village," Narelda said, referring to medical professionals, friends, neighbours, loved ones and more for support in caring for an older parent. 

On the 456 Club podcast episode, Australian writer and comedian Jean Kittson was also interviewed about her experience with this topic. She said that although it can be a tricky thing to navigate, it is possible and achievable.

"An older person without an advocate has no hope at all. You have to be their advocate in all walks of life, and you have to know what they want so that you can express what they want," she explained.

"With this in mind, I want everyone to feel confident they can do it too [manage the sandwich generation reality] and still have a life. It's just about juggling."

Feature Image: Instagram @narelda_jacobs/@alidaddo.