Things are plenty crazy at my house. How do I take back the power?
Let me paint you a picture.
On Sunday night I was in the living room, trying to cojole my two little kids into eating their dinner, as I do every night.
They’ve dictated the menu, they’re eating (or more accurately not eating) from the specific plates that they requested, their drinking straws are the right colour, after a couple of tries. “NO MUMMY, I want the pink one!!!!”
Suddenly my 2yo bolts from the table and runs off. Less than a minute later I can hear some serious bang-clashing coming from the direction of the kitchen.
I dash to see what it is.
My boy has opened the dishwasher. He’s bouncing up and down on the open door. Waving an enormous butcher’s knife.
But now I had to disarm my boy, who's jumping and waving and banging a spoon in the other hand.
"Albie. Put the knife down. Albie. Give mummy the knife." I'm trying to keep my voice calm. My boy thinks this is a game and starts flailing the knife higher, jumping harder, giggling louder.
It was at this moment that I realised I'd completely lost control of my home. And that if we all got out of this alive and unharmed, it would not be because I was doing a great job.