'I was having an over-40 fashion crisis. Here are 6 things a personal stylist told me to do.'

I have always been someone who loves clothes.

But just because I love clothes, doesn't mean I always know how to wear them. 

In my late teens and twenties, I would spend my Saturdays catching up with friends for a coffee or lunch before browsing the shops and trying on outfits in a considered way. 

I would pore over magazines, translating what my fave celebrities were wearing to the 'high street' version that my budget allowed. 

Me (on right) with my bestie on hols in some very cute mid 90s fits. Image: Supplied.

After moving into my thirties and looking after two young kids, my love of clothes entered a more confused era. I was still young, but I was mostly spending time at the local park, or on the floor building DUPLO towers. 

My clothes now needed to be built for comfort and frequent washing thanks to baby vomit or mushed-up banana. These were my fashion wilderness years, made up of skinny jeans, comfortable footwear and striped t-shirts. Leggings and tights also made a strong appearance, with the odd nice top for when I finally had time to go out.

Me with baby Leo and way too tired for fashion in 2017. But note the stripes. Image: Supplied.

Shortly after I turned 40, and was re-emerging from my toddler-driven style slump, we hit the pandemic years. I had only just begun dusting off my Zara blazers and having fun with fashion again before it all became about comfy tracksuits. I had nowhere but my lounge room to wear my newly purchased sequins and I won't lie - it was a weird era for my wardrobe.

As we have returned to 'normal' life once again, I've discovered I still love clothes, but don't really have time for brunch and browse sessions to find them. 

My shopping has turned into haphazard online purchases or occasional 'smash and grab' visits to my local mall, where I might buy a lovely dress then get it home and realise I don't have the right shoes. Or I buy a great pair of 'on trend' jeans that do nothing for my shape.

Which is why I decided to seek professional help, with a dedicated two hour shopping session with personal stylist Natalie Baker.

As Natalie is also over 40 and incredibly stylish, I felt immediately comfortable and didn't have to explain my whole 'middle-aged, busy mum' vibe to her. She has two kids, and she just got me and my over 40 style woes immediately. 

We started with a coffee, and I unloaded all my issues while she began thinking about which shops and brands to visit. I mostly needed a workwear reboot and some general, solid advice.

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Her knowledge of the stores and the latest trends, coupled with a focus on shopping for 'looks' and not just a random dress, was incredibly helpful. I came away with one excellent work AND play outfit, and armed with ideas that I can use next time I save up some dollars.

She gave me so many great tips I thought I should share - so here are six of Natalie's best pieces of advice for great style over 40.

1. Add some colour, but don't ditch black entirely.

"A lot of women are hesitant about colour but love it when I get them to try on seasonal colours or combinations they would never have thought about. Wearing a colour that's not black, close to your face, is also much more flattering for mature skin.

"Many women hang onto black as it is classic, but I suggest swapping it out for other neutral tones like navy, grey or neutral camel/caramel tones. It doesn't mean you can't wear black, but maybe pair your black blazer with a white or light coloured cami or t-shirt and jewellery to help light up the face."  

I LOVED the colour and relaxed style of this Sheike set. Not something I would have considered. Image: Supplied.

2. Classic styles don't date, so consider good quality tailoring.

"Trends come and go but nicely tailored pants or jackets always look great on almost every body shape. Buy the best your budget can afford, as classic styles that flatter you won't date. A quality suit is great as it can be styled up or down and used as separates. A good pair of jeans and some basic tops to wear over and over really make up the basis of any wardrobe.

"You can always add a sprinkle of 'fashion' with some on-trend accessories or by adding a top in the colour of the season."

3. Tuck long shirts or t-shirts up, not down!

"This is hard to explain, but if you take the bottom of your shirt and tuck it up and under your bra, it creates a tidy 'tucked in' look but without the fabric 'bulk' around your middle that happens when you tuck shirts down into your pants or jeans.

"Tucking up creates a smoother, tidier silhouette and prevents creases in the top's fabric, so it's a win-win!" 

Loved this white suit from Forever New. I didn't buy it but I'm thinking I need to? 

4. Be brave and be kind to yourself.

"I see lots of women over 40 who are low in confidence when it comes to fashion. Perhaps the kids have grown up and their bodies have changed shape. They might bring photos of what suited them in their 20s and they are finding it hard to let go. I can help them pick out elements of colours or styles that they used to love and bring them up-to-date so they suit them now. 

"A client in her 50s last week got emotional after I encouraged her to try on some styles and colours that she would never have usually considered. She was so happy to look and feel 'like herself' again.

"Clients can be very self-critical, and I know we all do it, but I tell people to speak to themselves gently and kindly and to focus on their best traits." 

5. Remember to factor in what you already have at home.

"It always helps if you go to a style session having considered your particular wardrobe dilemmas first. When you shop, you already know what items of clothing you need and what your new items can be matched with at home.

"Especially now we are all trying not to turn over fast fashion as frequently. It's good to work on owning some well-made basics and then using services like H&M's in-store recycling program to donate your old and unwanted clothes."

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A post shared by Natalie Baker (@natbakerstyling)

6. Nice clothes make you feel good, so have fun!

"I recently saw a 91-year-old client who wanted to look smart because it made her feel good, which shows that nice clothes can do that for you at any age. 

"In middle age too, life is busy and can be tricky. The least I can do is help women to go out and not worry about what they're wearing because they feel good in their outfit. 

"It can be hard to navigate all the latest trends - and some fashions, like the recent obsession with cut-outs, can overwhelm us. I love my job because I encourage women to explore what suits them, be brave with different styles and also be playful - even if it's just with accessories or colour. Mostly I want women to enjoy the experience and remember to have fun with fashion."  

Laura Jackel is Mamamia's Family Writer. For links to her articles and to see photos of her outfits and kids, follow her on Instagram and TikTok.

Feature Image: Supplied/Canva

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