entertainment

They were the best thing about the Oscars and now they're taking them from us.

When it comes to the Oscars, there are three highlights: The frocks. The boozy after-party pictures. And watching very famous people ignore every unsubtle cue thrown at them in an effort to get them off stage as they finish rattling off the names of their hair-stylist, gardener and childhood babysitter in their long list of thank-yous.

But producers have decided the latter is about to change.

Time.com reports that at Monday’s lunch for nominees, producers Reginald Hudlin and David Hill asked potential winners to deliver a more meaningful message.

More meaningful than this? Surely not. (Post continues after video.)

Before the ceremony, rather than keeping the names tucked away in a napkin in their strapless bra, nominees will have to fill out a card with the names of everyone they would like to thank.

Then, during their acceptance speech, the names will come across the bottom of the screen, leaving winners with 45 seconds free to talk about whatever the hell they want. (Quick, nominees – take up a political cause.)

So awkwardly sobbing while thanking every person you’ve ever met (think Gwyneth Paltrow circa 1999) or telling the conductor trying to send you a very obvious message to “sit, because I may never be here again” (a legendary move pulled by Julia Roberts in 2001) may not fly anymore. With no one left for the stars to thank – is it possible we could get something even better?

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You don’t mess with Julia (post continues after video):

The move was apparently prompted by an awkward moment at last year’s ceremony when the joint winner of Best Documentary Short, Dana Perry, was cut off while dedicating the award to her son, who had committed suicide.

Oh, and ratings. Because famous people opening up meaningful dialogue or entertaining audiences with drunken prattle is a whole lot more interesting than listening to a phone book’s worth of names of people we’ve never heard of.

Jared Leto describes writing his Oscar’s speech: