This is a satirical day in Orlando Bloom's life. You can read about his actual (bizarre) daily routine here.
It’s 6.30am.
Katy is asleep beside me because she’s been up all night feeding our seven-month-old daughter. Still, I’m annoyed. I only got seven and a half hours sleep and Katy knows my sleep tracker likes me to get at least eight. If I don’t it goes into the orange zone instead of the green zone and that gives me a sense of discomfort I don’t appreciate.
As I get up, I hear Daisy’s cries coming from the other end of our 17-bedroom home. I can’t remember which one she’s in. Eventually, I find her and pat her gently while smiling, but she’s screaming and it’s honestly quite rude. It’s time for my morning chant and it can’t wait.